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Alleged Stalker: Paula Was "My Secret Crush"

11/12/2008 2:42 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF

It's painfully obvious from her MySpace page, the woman who was found dead in front of Paula Abdul's house had an obsession with "American Idol" -- and was seriously affected by her embarrassment on the show.
Paula Goodspeed
On Paula Goodspeed's page, which hasn't been updated since April 2007, Goodspeed posted a picture of Paula Abdul licking her lips with a caption that reads, "My secret crush, shhhhh."

Goodspeed also blogged about her "American Idol" rejection, saying how hard it was to deal with the "awful things" being said about her, "just because I made the mistake of trying out for a singing competition before I was ~even~ ready vocally, emotionally and physically."


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Just my opinion    

awwww, Paula had a fan.....

RIP Paula Goodspeed

2069 days ago


Pretty freaky yet sad.

2069 days ago

Miami Spice    

This is why I never understand why people say they want to be
"rich and famous". Just taking the "rich" is fine. The "famous" part leads to having to deal with countless looneys like this.

2069 days ago

jenna elich    


Status: Single
Here for: Networking, Friends
Orientation: Lesbian
Hometown: Van Nuys
Body type: 4' 11" / Athletic
Ethnicity: Native American
Religion: Wiccan
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
Smoke / Drink: No / No
Children: Love kids, but not for me
Education: Some college
Occupation: bathin in bl~~d of virgin girls
Income: $250,000 and Higher

2069 days ago


even more:

if you look at the photo comments under the picture of her in the blue dress, you'll see this:


March 28, 2006 3:21 PM
Hey paula whats up its mom. I finally figured this out i think. What you doing right now. I see your on line so am i love you mom

then you go to her mothers page, and the obsession doesn't seem to stop.

2069 days ago


She, like other stalkers, was not mentally well. If you read "Gift of Fear", you'll be shocked at the number of celebrities who have incredibly frightening stalkers. Of course, regular people have stalkers, too. And the police do nothing because it isn't a crime to stalk. And it should be because it would protect people from themselves and protect the people they are stalking.

2069 days ago


OK, I can't find her myspace...anyone have a link?

2069 days ago


The commment made by #6 Yum Yum is incorrect. There are anti-stalking laws in all 50 states! The first anti-stalking law passed because of the murder of actress Rebecca Schaefer in 1989. Some people have no sense of boundaries, and when you combine that with an obsession, it can be very detrimental, both for the stalked, and also the stalker. It's very sad and tragic that this individual didn't get the mental health assistance she needed before going into such a downward spiral.

2069 days ago


Revised/Typo errors corrected in this posting!
Our entire community will boycott "American Idol" and anything pertaining to Paula Abdul, Simon and the third judge. This is an awful show set up to intimidate the younger and impressionable generation to make themselves feel awful, ugly and negative about themselves in order to PROMPT the judges into feeling more powerful and better about themselves.
This young girl was NOT stalking Paula Abdul. She was depressed and committed suicide in the front of Abdul's home as a result of Abdul's cruel and harsh rejection directed towards her. Our economy is in a depression and I say "boycott these arrogant, pathetic, rich and famous celebrities who capitalize off of us poor people and our children." Lets boycott their shows, movies, TV commercials and see how their income depletes to nothing and how they will have to forclose on their houses. I hope that this young girl's family has a good attorney to file a "Wrongful Death civil lawsuit against American Idol and the judges. I also hope that American Idol is cancelled. I do not allow my children to watch this show. I wouldn't even allow my dogs to watch this show. I believe in Karma!!! I hope that the show's ratings go way way down and the arrogant judges lose their jobs, salary, houses etc... If America "turns off their T.V. sets (cable is over $40.00 per month) and stops going to movies at $10.00 per person and if America concentrates on their own lives rather than the lives of the "rich and famous" then the average person would spend more valuable time with family, career and college and we would be a more successful society! Boycott these arrogant, rich and famous actors! Who the heck needs them, not me!

2069 days ago


Thank You Alexis, that is SO true. Sure this woman may have had a mental problem before trying out for Idol but the way she was treated by Abdul and the others who think it is hilarious to make fun, talk crap and treat people badly for ratings is just as wrong as this woman stalking Paula. But you won't hear anything about that, just how Paula was stalked and how Paula's life was made miserable by this woman.

I'm not even famous but when I had a stalker who would sit outside my house, send me disgusting things in the mail, follow me to other parts of the world all I got was a "suck it up it's part of the business and a or you can move", I had moved as much as I could stand before he finally got deported. Stalkers are sometimes part of the business and you deal with them as they come but to antagonize people by name calling, trash talking're gonna piss them off.

2069 days ago


I wonder if stalkers are warped by the town of LA so much that by the time they find a celebrity that they focus on, they're already so separated from their own identities that they have no idea what is going on. You'd think that if they ever actually met their celebrity, meaning see them live in any way, seeing ANY celebrity live in any way, that they would cure themselves instantly of the fixation-confusion and get back to living their own life. I've been to LA and by pure cooincidence been around some famous people and my reaction is to just leave them alone. They're on their own time, it's private time, they aren't a "project" in action, it's not a movie, not a song, not a TV show, geez, why can't people see that the "star" is a machine-made creature in part, that most of those celebrities are highly professional and talented business people and artists, and that at least when these people have free time, they should be left with lots of free space and respect like you treat all the rest of the strangers around.

Paula Abdul may be one hell of an attractive celebrity, but if I ever met her in a restaurant or on the street, I would say hi if it was natural, I wouldn't be hanging around photographers or running across the street to meet her or waiting outside a store or staring at her. GET REAL!

Here's a good example: you go to a golf tournament, and there's that famous pro you like. He/she walks near you on their way to the next shot and what do you do? Watch them play the tournament, you don't go "Hey, Stan, you're my favourite human, I need to walk like you and I only wear plaid shirts like you and I named my cat Stan and I think I'm you".

What kind of freaking lunacy gets into people anyway? If you're living in LA and want a career in entertainment, work hard as hell, be strategic about it and be persistent and professional, learn from various pro's and don't expect waiting around for celebrities to get it done for you, or you're just a freaking phony to start with. It's inside, it's not outside. NEVER let yourself be lived through others. NEVER. Forgive yourself for the confusion and get back in your own skin. There, feel better? Great. Now have a brandy and write your next song.

2069 days ago


The ultimate selfish act. If you don't like American Idol, don't watch. I like to watch young people perform, so I love American Idol. Quit trying to put your likes off on other people. If someone is bad they need to knwo they are bad. Why do you think it is nice to decieve someone into thinking they can sing when they can't. or anything else for that matter. Everyone is not the same. Get over it.

2069 days ago


Oh please, yes celebrities suck, but this is the typical blame someone else attitude. This girl obviously had issues, but don't blame the show. This was the 5th season and it was no secret that the auditions were brutal at times. If you don't want to or can't handle rejection (about 1 in 100,000 people actually make it on to the show) than you should stay home.

Nobody does anything wrong in this country. No matter what stupid things people do, they end up sueing someone else, becasue it certainly wasn't their fault.

She's dead, done deal. Would have been nice if she'd received help, but blame her utimately for not dealing well with her obsession.

2069 days ago

Ms. X    

So sad this woman had to die like this but dayuum that pic of Paula A. licking her lips shows this Goodspeed woman was "moist" for Paula A. and we all know Paula A. does have affairs with contestants "Cory"...If Paula A. had just slept with her maybe she'd still be alive.

2069 days ago


Oh boy. That MySpace page looks like a 12-year-old created it.
That poor gal had no friends, only spammers claiming to be friends.
It's not American Idol's fault, or Paula Abdul's fault. This woman was sick, period, and she's been sick for awhile.

2069 days ago

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