The Charred Ghost of Shauna Sand's Future

The human remains of Donatella Versace frolicked on the beach in St. Barts on Wednesday.

La Dona's purple bikini accented all the latest trends this season: fried hair, plutonium injected breasts and saggy leather skin.

All the alleged 53-year-old needs is a pair of orthopedic Lucite platform stripper heels and she could be the spitting, coughing, hacking image of Shauna Sand in five years.