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Candy to Tori:

Get Real, Baby

7/27/2009 1:15 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Candy & Tori SpellingCandy Spelling -- the mother famously at war with her daughter -- has taken the bold step of communicating with Tori Spelling through TMZ ... and her opening line isn't gonna get her a lot of invites. Here's the open letter in all its glory:

EXCLUSIVE TO: TMZ.COM
TO: MIDDLE-AGED REALITY SHOW STARS (LIKE MY DAUGHTER)
FROM: CANDY SPELLING

I Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn't match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it's the same way with my daughter.

Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings.


I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori's, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter's first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me.

Cue music. Cue sideways glances. Cue Lights.

I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I'm sure its delivery will be on next week's episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won't like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh.

A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show.

Spoiler alert. Don't read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying "she's late." I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that I would not be attending.

Back to other reality stars. My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it.

For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.
1285 COMMENTS

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1.

rlh    

What a horrible mother this woman is! Just because Candy is grandmother to Tori's children does not give her the right to be in their lives. That decision belongs to the parents of the children. If Tori & Dean decide that Candy is not someone they want their children exposed to, then they have the right to make that decision. I could not imagine being that kind of a person to my children or my grandchildren. Candy is a horrible, manipulative, selfish person. She has said so many terrible things about her daughter & she has done nothing but hurt Tori. She should feel lucky that she is in her daughters life at all! If it was me, I'd want nothing to do with her. Does she not realize that she is supposed to be the mother here, to support her daughter whether or not she agrees with her life. The reason the relationship is so strained is because Candy does not support her daughter & from what I can see, she shows absolutely no love. What a poor excuse for a mother. How Tori can be so compassionate & loving mystifies me, considering the role model she had growing up. Despite her mother however, she has turned out to be a really good person. I'd be incredibly proud to have a daughter like her.

1788 days ago
2.

Kayla    

My mother-in-law is a lot like Candy. I think that she is pathetic! To say the least. I also think Tori needs to just cut the ties, like Dean said. The relationship my husband and his mother have are similar and the relationship or lack that there of that Dean has with his father I am similar to. Perhaps Dean and I do not understand our spouses point, because our personalities are different, but enough is enough. You can only take so much BS!

1781 days ago
3.

Shelly    

I think Candy is pathetic and maybe just a little bit jealous!

1837 days ago
4.

Linda    

I think this whole thing is a dirty shame! I also am not accepted by my family. I am now 58 and have been hurt so many, many times that I have given up on being part of my family. I now have my own family and only think about them. My father is a big part of my life but my mother and siblings are not. No one knows the hurt until they have been through it. Tori is not a spoiled brat but a hurt child and yes, she is hurting for her mother as I am hurting for mine and my siblings! Candy, you were so wrong in writing what you did. You should have tried to meet with Tori alone so see your grandchildren and I am sure Tori would have agreed to this. I am sure it would have been hard to go to the party with all of those people around, and everything that has been said, but calling to ask for a private meeting would have been so much better. Tori and Candy both are hurting and I know because I know how hurt feels. You cover your hurt with anger and this does not help. Others should stay out of it and let these two work things out by themselves and I know they can. I have given up only because every time I try, I get hurt so badly that I can't take the hurt any more. Please, Candy and Tori, try to make things right between you. You both will regret it if you don't. Do you really want to leave this world with this between you? No, I don't think so. Candy, do you really think for one minute that Tori would try to set you up? She loves you, you are her mother. Stop and think about all of this. I know how Tori feels and she would welcome an open arm to be able to hug you once more. Give her this chance. I would love it if I had this chance with my mother, sister and brothers! Take care and stop doing all this online. Keep it private and please work things out. God would want you to also. Bless you both! Dean, please try to stand behind Tori, she is going through hell right now and needs you badly! I am praying for all of you!

1837 days ago
5.

Generation X    

As a mother I am disappointed about Tori and Candy. They both need therapy but will all of their sycophants tell them what they really need to hear? It does seem like Candy spoiled Tori as a child and is reaping the whirlwind now. Maybe she did it because she could, but it is very bad for children. This has to be heartbreaking for both of them. Candy probably did what she felt was fun to do in that surreal Hollywood la-la land driven by competition and envy. Let this be a lesson to all of us.

1797 days ago
6.

Stephanie Hegarty    

Wow-I was thinking at the end of this years finale that one can never give up on their mother, but Tori-enough is enough. I lost my mother five weeks ago to cancer and we were oil and water sometimes, but she told me one very useful piece of advice: "Don't waste your time loving someone who doesn't love you!" By the way she (my mom) was very judgemental at times, however the first time she saw your show- she thought you were nothing but "genuine and real"! Don't give her another ounce of attention on your show (you know she loves it!)-don't let your hurt be public-she loves it! Oh for all those bloggers who codemm Tori and Dean for having the nerve to leave spouses who made them miserable, so they could be happy-"Shut up, roll over, and go to sleep next to the spouse who makes you miserable everyday!"

1833 days ago
7.

Emily    

Candy,
I just thought I would let you know that what you are doing to Tori is wrong, plain and simple! She is the one reaching out an olive branch to you, not the other way round. It's your loss to never meet your grandkids, not Tori's. She is trying, and other than the fact that she wants her children to know their grandmother, I dont think she wants to have anything to do with you.
I'm glad she put it on the show because it just shows how much of a spoiled-ass bitch you are. You don't give a sh*t about your daughter or your grandkids.
Have a nice life, alone with no family!

1795 days ago
8.

Walter    

Well, maybe if Tori had gotten some decent $$$ from her late father's estate she wouldn't be whoring herself and her kids out. And maybe if Candy didn't have such a big stick up her ass she would be a decent grandmother.

1863 days ago
9.

boredwiththis    

good for her! she's right, tori's show has just been dragging on and on about the whole "my mommy won't see my kids" whatever, why should her first meeting with her granddaughter be televised, why has'nt tori driven her kids to her mom's house before? GROW UP TORI SPELLING your the reason your kids have not seen their grandmother, GET IN YOUR CAR AND DRIVE OVER THERE WITHOUT THE CAMERA'S... and tell your husband to get better jobs so you can stop pimping your kids out!

1863 days ago
10.

boredwiththis    

hey walter! dumbass, parents are not obligated to leave their children anything! maybe he wanted her to make a living jus like he had to, instead of getting it handed to her

1863 days ago
11.

TEAMBRANCA    

Dear Mrs. Spelling,

Both you and your daughter's behaviour is disgraceful. Your daughter has a perfectly charming reality program. Unfortunately as a product of a hollywood upbringing and today's reality show morals she doesn't realize HOW incredibly hurtful and inapropriate that discussion is for the show.

Your contacting TMZ is a bigger low and telling the press that you thought Tori's behaviour hastened your husbands passing was EQUALLY CLASSLESS.

So the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree. This is most likely some weird mother daughter c ompetition. The last episode of your daughter's show I watched discussed how many good memories of you she has.

Both of you need to seize the good and genuinely move forward. Frankly I think your behavious is a little less mature.

Your daughter was left 600K. She is earning her living with this show and books honorably. Not running around like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton clubbing etc or posing for playboy.

I think you as the parent with a greater sense of how quickly time flies should TRY TO be the bigger person.
Frankly if my mother emailed TMZ I would never, never, never speak to her again.

Sorry Candy...no sympathy

(and I was never a 90210 fan learned to enjoy your daughter with her reality faux reality shows)

1863 days ago
12.

aMomToo    

The mother (Candy) needs to be the bigger person. She's older, and theoretically should know more. What if Tori or, God forbid, one of the grandchildren died tomorrow. How would you feel, Candy? Call your daughter.

1863 days ago
13.

Paparazzo@frog.cc    

Tori Spelling is a spoiled little bitch. But at the end, one has to ask, "Who spiled her?"

1863 days ago
14.

crystal    

Tori is one ugly B*tch !!

1863 days ago
15.

squeakermama    

Hey mom, get a hobby or something ok?

1863 days ago
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