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Candy to Tori:

Get Real, Baby

7/27/2009 1:15 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Candy & Tori SpellingCandy Spelling -- the mother famously at war with her daughter -- has taken the bold step of communicating with Tori Spelling through TMZ ... and her opening line isn't gonna get her a lot of invites. Here's the open letter in all its glory:

EXCLUSIVE TO: TMZ.COM
TO: MIDDLE-AGED REALITY SHOW STARS (LIKE MY DAUGHTER)
FROM: CANDY SPELLING

I Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn't match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it's the same way with my daughter.

Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings.


I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori's, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter's first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me.

Cue music. Cue sideways glances. Cue Lights.

I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I'm sure its delivery will be on next week's episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won't like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh.

A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show.

Spoiler alert. Don't read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying "she's late." I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that I would not be attending.

Back to other reality stars. My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it.

For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.
1285 COMMENTS

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31.

Jake    

It's pretty pathetic that a MOTHER has to write TMZ in order to communicate with her daughter, your children are a reflection of YOU and the value system you instilled in them. Look in the mirror before you lambaste your daughter publicly, just a thought!

1826 days ago
32.

Susan    

Candy Spelling needs to quit. As a parent you need to realize that what is said and done to and for a child can affect them for the rest of their lives. Get over it...get on with your life...either set things right with your daughter or realize you will be missing out on the joy of being a part of her children's lives. Liam and Stella are beautiful. Tori and Dean rock.

1826 days ago
33.

JenniferLynn    

Candy is completely in the wrong. She always reaches out with "open letters" on the internet. No wonder her daughter wants nothing to do with her!

If I was Tori, I'd put it in my reality show too, specifically so the world could see how things are. Editing can only do so much.

If you REALLY want to meet your grandkids, do it however you can, televised or not. And discuss things one on one, not through the media.

1826 days ago
34.

LAIst    

It's about time. Tori is such a phony. What does she have to complain about? And how many nannies does she have?

1826 days ago
35.

Brandi middle aged ?31? mother shocked    

I did watch 90210 when I was a kid and Tori wasn't my favorite Character. But reading her book and watching her on TV has made me a HUGE fan. Really people what can she do other than be a celebrity because of her MOTHER and Father (rest in peace). Really THEY put her in the spot light THEY brought her into Hollywood. BUT expect her to make it on her own by not giving Tori her fair share to Spelling wealth. How is CANDY or RANDY anymore entitled to it than Tori??? Aaron made the money..............

Anyhoo.......I believe Tori and Dean for being Celebrity's are as real as Celebrity people/parents can be. NO CELEBRITY is going to act like every day common people....duh thats why they are called CELEBRITY'S. And we watch!!!!

CANDY SPELLING and anyone who condones her behavior (Randy knows he'll be cut off too) should be ashamed. CANDY your no mother your a stage mom!! And we all know she was running around when he was so sick.....please!

GO TORI and DEAN keep it real!!!!

1826 days ago
36.

VirginiaG    

The mom said it best:

For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.





For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.

1826 days ago
37.

Adam M.    

You're her MOM, what's wrong with you??? Parents should never forsake their children. Sorry, but you come off as an ice cold bitch in this "open letter"...

You only get one life, no do-over's. If you were to die tomorrow, is this how you'd want it all to end? Like this? Wow.

1826 days ago
38.

Disneygrad    

Along with some of the commenters here, children just don't get it. If you have no relationship with your mother/father, your child or children will not either, duh! Something children have not learned in this 21st Century that we "old schoolers" were taught early...........GRACIOUSNESS! Try it. It doesn't hurt at all. It may in fact help.

1826 days ago
39.

Marina326    

Wow - I'm not sure who's more pathetic: Tori or Candy. I think they are more alike then they would like to admit. . . .

1826 days ago
40.

Me!    

You mean, when Candy dies, she'll leave all of HIS money to charity.

1826 days ago
41.

Mel    

Well, Candy, for someone who did not want to meet their daughter on camera for the first time, I find it oddly curious why you would play out this family feud to a tabloid site. Shameful behavior on your part. Take it up with your daughter in private.

1826 days ago
42.

Darcey    

Once again Candy has proven that money cannot buy class.

1826 days ago
43.

el polacko    

candy is a sick, bitter woman. can you imagine having THAT as your mother ?!?

1826 days ago
44.

Isabel    

You can't blame the mother for speaking up. She's like a punching bag. "Oh, maybe I'll call my mother." "Oh, maybe I won't." "Oh, she's family." "Oh, should I invite her or not?" Please. It's all for show.

1826 days ago
45.

s jules    

they act like 2 little kids who deserve to be spanked and sent to bed for horrible behavior.

1826 days ago
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