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Candy to Tori:

Get Real, Baby

7/27/2009 1:15 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Candy & Tori SpellingCandy Spelling -- the mother famously at war with her daughter -- has taken the bold step of communicating with Tori Spelling through TMZ ... and her opening line isn't gonna get her a lot of invites. Here's the open letter in all its glory:

EXCLUSIVE TO: TMZ.COM
TO: MIDDLE-AGED REALITY SHOW STARS (LIKE MY DAUGHTER)
FROM: CANDY SPELLING

I Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn't match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it's the same way with my daughter.

Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings.


I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori's, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter's first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me.

Cue music. Cue sideways glances. Cue Lights.

I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I'm sure its delivery will be on next week's episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won't like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh.

A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show.

Spoiler alert. Don't read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying "she's late." I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that I would not be attending.

Back to other reality stars. My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it.

For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.
1285 COMMENTS

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Previous 15 Comments | 80 | 81 | 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86
1276.

LizC.    

Besides,
WHAT THE HELL!
If your gonna write a letter like this,
DON'T MAKE IT PUBLIC!
Imagine,
Liam ten years from now, google searching his mom or grandma
and all this crap about the feud they are going through comes up
and this letter...Who's side does she honestly think he and Stella are gonna take?
Obviously not the Grandma who stopped calling out of no where...

1824 days ago
1277.

Deb    

Candy, you really shouldn't be dictating the terms and conditions of meeting your granddaughter, just be glad to do so. Put aside the past issues and get involved in being a loving grandmother to those beautiful little ones.

I am sure you can afford to set up some therapy between you and Tori, why don't you offer that? otherwise, you are just posing.

1823 days ago
1278.

AA28    

They are both being stupid fame whores! Does Candy think this "open letter" is any better than an on-air invite to a b-day party? At the end of the day Candy is the Mom and she should have never let it get this far. Tori just has to do right by her own children but when someone makes the choice to have kids they become responcible for loving them for better and for worse. I would understand if Candy developed these boundaries if Tori had done something dispicable, but its obviouse she didn't. If she had no doubt there would be an open letter about it!

1822 days ago
1279.

Jenn    

I find it amazing that grandparents think they have any right to their grandkids. They werent part of the decision to have them they arent legally responsible for them monitarily or emotionally, so why would they have any rights under the law or morally. Its a parents choice to include or disclude them from their lives. We dont get to choose our parents and lord knows if we could some of use would have chosen to do so!!! I respect Dean for wanting to protect his children and his wife from a woman who has not earned his respect. I feel bad that Tori is torn up over it but really I like Deans idea of just cut the strings already!!!!!

1820 days ago
1280.

marie    

Although I love Torie and was cheering for her, but it is about time that she leaves Candy alone. I read that book I do not see no fault with that woman the only thing I see is that she spoil Torie rotten.
Candy has all the right not wants to be part of Torie’s reality show; besides why Dean joining the Candy Badmouthing for doesn’t he see that his wife is spoil Brat with an Electra complex because that’s the only plausible reason for her to hate her mother that much.

Still love you Torie and Dean

1810 days ago
1281.

SHARON    

I READ TORI DID NOT GO SEE HER FATHER ON HIS DEATH BED. IF THAT IS TRUE, I DO NOT BLAME THE MOTHER FOR NOT LOADING HER UP WITH CASH. THIS IS SAD FOR ALL OF THEM. MAYBE TORI WILL REALIZE SHE WASN'T ENTITLED TO ANYTHING AND SAVE HER COMPLAINING UNTIL HER MOTHER IS DEAD. WHAT IS UP WITH KIDS THINKING THEY SHOULD GET INHERITANCES BEFORE BOTH PARENTS ARE DEAD? AND IF YOU DISRESPECT THEM ( LIKE AIRING YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY ON TV), MAYBE NOT EVEN THEN. MAYBE SHE HAS WORTHY CAUSES SHE WOULD RATHER GIVE MONEY TO.

1583 days ago
1282.

belinda    

Hi Tori..I just want to say that I am glad that you and your mom are on good terms again. Also, I think that you are a great mom and both you and Dean look happy together. Your kids are too adorable, I just love Liam he seems to be a very happy little boy that likes to run around and so smart for his young age...Tori, he is going to act because he loves the camera. Stella, she is too cute and also smart for her age. She will be the one to watch over her big brother. All of this because of the parenting that you and Dean provide. Your dad would be very happy for you. I really enjoy your show. Keep up the good work...P.S Don't worry about the haters (Chelsey) they are just jealous...I told Chelsey already..lol...lol

1531 days ago
1283.

johanna    

I don't know the entire story, and nobody here possibly can, but from what i've seen so far, Tori is just a whining brat who refuses to give her mother a chance. She's all about the drama and playing the victim. She invites Candy to her child's birthday party and the entire time everyone is talking about how uncomfortable they will be if Candy actually shows up??? Yeah, that sounds like a real fun time to me to want to finally meet her granddaughter... Does it even occur to Tori that Candy might also be hideously uncomfortable in that extremely public situation? I seriously doubt that this even entered her mind, since it appears to be all just about Tori, period.

1308 days ago
1284.

Debbie    

What a psycho! This pathetic old lady is for sure jealous. Grow up ! I too have a horrible mother. My mother has been a spoiled little brat all her life in addition to being viiolent. I've given her chance after chance and all she does is hurt me. Sounds just like Candy! She likes attention tnat is it. Again, be the mom and stop being a spoiled BRAT!

1207 days ago
Previous 15 Comments | 80 | 81 | 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86

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