TMZ

Our TV Shows

Got a Tip?

Call TMZ at (888) 847-9869 or Click Here

Chuck Lorre -- Blasting Charlie With Monkey Jokes?

4/29/2011 12:05 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Chuck Lorre is taking a vicious shot at an actor -- accusing him of being a drug addict who is "impossible to work with" ... but the shocker is he's NOT talking about Charlie Sheen. Maybe.

0429_charlie_sheen_monkey_tmz_bn

At the end of last night's "The Big Bang Theory" ... Lorre's vanity card seems to be joking about a monkey that was on the episode -- saying its "behavior became increasingly erratic, to the point of refusing to come out of his trailer to rehearse."

The card continues, "The monkey is a heroin addict. Yes, hard as it may be to believe, the monkey had a monkey on his back." It goes on to say the monkey is in detox and a 12 step program.

0429_chuck_lorre_vanity_card

But after Lorre's announcement he's retooling "Two and a Half Men" without Charlie -- and Charlie's nuclear response, we gotta ask ...





315 COMMENTS

No Avatar
106.

jacksonfive210    

what Charles Michael Levine that was ***** **** Idk why he even does those gay vanity cards no one cares what he has to say maybe Levine can start production on cybill and dharma & greg again Levine man up and fight charlie in the octagon.

1085 days ago
107.

J Johnson    

@ksis

Speaking of big, fat, nobodies, your perogies are ready! Tom Selleck called, he wants his moustache back you unemployed, time-wasting moron.

1085 days ago
108.

Kathyo    

charlie's just mad because even a monkey can get a job on tv.....and charlie's been begging all of his so called fans to help him get his job back....I guess they haven't come through for him.The 5 of you better get to work if you want charlie back on tv

1085 days ago
109.

Jack DaCarup    

Kathyo 17 minutes ago I love chuck lorre......thanks for standing up to the arrogant, self involved, drug addled, toothless, porn/whore addicted, lousy father, woman abusing has been of an actor who one week ago was begging for his job back but now since he knows that won't happen is once again back peddling and doing the one thing that gets him any attention....trash talking. That is all that charlie is good at anymore, its the only way he can get attention.....TRASH TALK....he is trash so I guess it makes sense
***

I couldn't have said it better myself!! I have lost all respect for Charlie.

***
Kathyo 7 minutes ago charlie's just mad because even a monkey can get a job on tv.....and charlie's been begging all of his so called fans to help him get his job back....I guess they haven't come through for him.The 5 of you better get to work if you want charlie back on tv
***
LMAO! Priceless!

1085 days ago
110.

mjs318    

Charles at 80 g's a month in child support, id be kissing chuck's ass or your giong to be someones godess in jail for not paying child support.

1085 days ago
111.

I am Spartacus    

What we're seeing is that none of these people are naturally funny. When Jon Cryer went on Conan his attempt at being funny failed. The only people that found it funny are the same idiots who say their on "TEAM whoever" and don't know what real humor is. This attempt from Lorre was also a fail. There really wasn't anything funny about this. The only thing that has been funny from Lorre-Cryer-Sheen was Charlie Sheen's cooking commercial.

1085 days ago
112.

Cinderf*ckinrella    

What all of you don’t know, including Christian Day (the Warlock) and apparently Charlie hasn’t figured out yet, even though he’s had a little over 10 years to do so, is…..when I was 19-20 years old (which was 26-27 years ago) I placed a Cinderella Happy Ever After love spell on Charlie….that one day we would be together and live happily ever after. So, all you other Warlocks, Wizards and Witches are too late. Cinderella got there first. Ha!
Now to the specifics….One night roughly 26 years ago while sitting in my living room, in a small southern Missouri town, I turned on a movie named “Lucas”. As I watched this movie, I was really drawn to this kinda sad, kinda shy young man on the screen, Charlie. I felt such a connection that at the end of the movie, I went outside and made a wish upon a star/ a prayer that one day we would be together and live happily ever after, no matter how long it took or whatever hardships must be endured, just if one day we would have our happy ever after.
Now forward to 2001….In 2001 my best friend of 30 years went to work on the set of Spin City. Years before I had moved to California from Missouri, so when my friend went to work with Charlie I knew this was the opportunity and opening to make the wish come true. I had never told anyone, not even my best friend, that I had made that wish/prayer all those years ago. She had no idea when she went to work with Charlie that I had made that wish. In August of 2001, I went with my friend to a photo session for Spin City. All the actors/ actresses were there, including Charlie. I even arm wrestled Richard Kind. He was fascinated with the natural muscle tone in my arms and had to see, for himself, if they were strong or just for looks. It was a draw. He was convinced they were not just for looks. Ha..Ha..Funny guy! I met Charlie, we exchanged phone numbers. He called my house later that week, even spoke with my two young children on the phone (I was a divorced single Mother at that point in my life). Things looked as if destiny had finally arrived. Then the next thing I know, my best friend informs me that Charlie had hooked up with Denise Richards and that they were madly in love. Wait, WTF just happened? Can any of you imagine my devastation at hearing this news? I was devastated, after all those years and to get that close and to have it ripped away. I thought what kind of a cruel joke are the Fates playing on me? Needless to say, none of Charlie’s marriages have lasted and he has been incapable of having a nice, loving and respectable relationship with any of the women he has been involved with relationship wise. And we all know about his penchant for whores and his need to try and screw every one of them he can on the planet.
Charlie thinks he is a Warlock. Well, Charlie, meet Cinderf*ckinrella with her magic wand and fairy dust. And I am sure there are some of you who doubt my ability to cast a wish, a love wish/ prayer. I had one doubter a few years back that also doubted some of my stated abilities. He is/was a staunch supporter/member of the (JREF) James Randi Education Foundation. Go check out their web-site, some very mean spirited people in that organization. Anyway, RoscoeR (that’s what I knew the guy as) started sending me emails, saying some really mean things, but when he referred to my Mother as a whore, well he had crossed the line. He went on to say if “I had any special mental abilities (psychic) then I could tell him where he lived.” He said if I could prove such to him, then he would apologize for all the terrible things he had said in his emails. So, that night I astral traveled (one of my many mental abilities) on over to his house and remote viewed (another mental ability) a picture of his family sitting on a table in a hall in his house. This was the quickest way to find out information about his family and home without going all through the house and invading his privacy and sanctuary of his home. That was not my intention. My intention was to let him see and realize the error of his ways and thinking. I think I succeeded in that, as you will read. The next morning, I emailed RoscoeR back and described his family in the picture (their hair, their clothes, their sexes, approximate ages, and the way they were positioned in the picture), the size and position of the picture frame and a description of the table, all in full detail to RoscoeR. I never heard back from RoscoeR ever again. He even blocked me were I couldn’t email him again. Basically, I scared the crap out of the guy. I can definitely tell you that, had that not been his picture on his table of his family in his hall in his house, the man never would have let me hear the end of it and I am sure he would have emailed me back to call me a lot more names. He still owes Cinderella that apology. I’m still waiting for that apology RoscoeR and you know who should have won that $1,000,000.00 contest. Did you even tell any of the JREF members how I proved my abilities to you when you challenged me? If not, it’s OK; you know the truth…That there are things out there and ways to use our brains, which you & the JREF really know nothing about. Scary, huh? Don’t worry RoscoeR, I have no intention of mentally popping back over to your home. That is, unless you call my mother a whore again. So behave yourself.
I also astral traveled up into outer space, a few years back and remote viewed most of the planets lining up. Remember, that took place in the Spring of 2002. I wanted to see what it looked like. One of the most awesome sights I've had the pleasure of remote viewing. So NASA if you are reading this, any job openings? For the right price, you could tap into my brain and I can take you into places in outer space that even your satellites, rocket ships and space shuttles can't go. Want to know about Black Holes? I've been in one, got sucked right in once a few years back while in one of my mental (psychic) modes. Amazing what I saw inside. I have a physical picture of outer space taken by one of NASA’s satelites where it happened. NASA should be able to know exactly which black hole I went into if I show them the picture. Does NASA want to know what I saw inside, anyone else? I have gone through wormholes into different galaxies/ realms and I can astral travel faster than the speed of light. (Just like you see on Star Trek, with the stars hyper speeding by). You know what that means right? The ability to go back in time. I have been chased by aliens, the ones you want to watch out for are the tall, gray skinny ones with razor sharp slasher teeth. Mean SOB's. The rest have seemed to be OK, when I have come into contact with them.
I floated up to Heaven, several years back, to get a look for myself (Does it exist? Is it real?). Yes, folks it is real. First, I floated through our atmosphere, then into deep space (aliens/spaceships in this area), then I had to float through thousands of angels to get to the source of true power. The angels that guard Heaven are stealth flyers and will knock you right out of the sky. I did not move a muscle as I floated through the angels guarding Heaven, if I had they would have made contact with me, they were flying that close to me, flying at rapid speeds all around me. I advise only those pure of heart and fearless attempt such a feat. Yes, I got a look into the blazing fire ball to see what he looked like. I squinted my eyes almost closed and was able to make him out from his waist up. Good looking fellow, if I do say so myself.
I used my mental abilities to help cure Sharon Osbourne when she had cancer. Ozzy would have never survived for long without his Sharon. We can't have that. I used my mental ability to bring Alen Ruck (Spin City) out of his coma, once I found out about it. He had already been in it for 2-3 days when I found out from my friend. I used my mental abilities to cure & save the life of one of the little Bennet boys, several years back. Doctors could not figure out what was wrong with him. The doctors had even had the family members start coming to say their goodbyes at the hospital. They said he would be dead within 2 days, when I got wind of his dire condition from my friend, related to the boy. Well, I mentally went over and got to work on him. I spoke with my friend 2 days later and asked about him. She told me how all of a sudden he had become completely well and had already been released from the hospital & was back at home. Said the doctors had no explanation or answers and declared it a miracle. Now, that’s winning people. I am not sure if any of them are consciously aware what I did to help save their lives. Their sub-conscious spirits/souls are aware of what I did. They might recognize me in person; maybe not. It’s been quite a few years ago. And there are more, this was just to name a few mental healings I have performed over the years. Some times people, some times animals. Also, the story I read several years back in one of those rag sheets, about a group of soldiers being pinned down in Iraq, surrounded by the enemy, when all of a sudden a female angel appeared wearing metal chest armor above them in the sky and scared off the Iraq soldiers and our US soldiers were able to escape. There was a bad sand storm blowing so she landed, went on her knees, turned her back towards the wind and tried to shield herself from the sand blast with her wings and was eventually picked up by a soldier and carried inside, where she lay unconscious for a few days, before she suddenly woke up and disappeared. Yes, that was me (well a physical mental projection of me). Like I said, only the pure of heart and fearless, need apply.
And just for the record, I am not a whore. I, by personal choice, have been celibate for years. Just to get that settled up front. Nor am I crazy, I just have some astounding mental capabilities/ abilities, which I try to use for good. Actually, with some of the things I've seen, heard and gone through I often wonder if this is a curse or a blessing in disguise. The stories I could tell all of you about the things I've seen, discovered and know. Before you all start to call me names like RoscoeR did once upon a time, keep in mind there are many people in the past that have made wondrous discoveries, but when they tried to share those with the citizens/people, they too were looked at as heretics and strange weirdos. Today, we know most of them as Geniuses of their time. Geniuses, I said, a little strange, but still brilliant Geniuses, way ahead of the rest with their knowledge of certain things.
Anyway… back to Charlie. You hear the music, you sing the songs, but do you really understand and feel the words? Have any of you ever really listened to the words?
Charlie, you state that you answered or shall we say listened to a higher power, who informed you that it is possible to cure oneself with the power of their mind. You know, they say humans only use about 20% of their brains. Well, the average human anyway; however, some of us have the ability to tap into that other 80% of gray matter. I believe, that higher power said you should do things associated with baseball. They know how much you love baseball. It told you to think about teaching your little boys how to play baseball, Said you might have a little Pitcher/Catcher combo there if you take the time with them, to teach them. The higher power also stated you need to be able to walk your two young daughters down the isle on their wedding days. The voice specifically told you to “Put away the crack.” The voice told you to start eating, sleeping, to drink Gatorade, milk and juices, instead of booze. The voice also stated that your house will never be a nice, peaceful, loving home with the type of women you bring up into your home and the way your home is run. If you ever want to have all of your children, all at the same time (without monitors/supervision) under your roof to visit, stay the night or just hang out, with the approval from both of your ex-wives (children’s mothers aka baby’s mamas), it is going to take the right woman as your partner. Whores and the types of woman you like to have at your home and call your family are NOT going to cut it, Charlie. It has to be a woman that Brooke and Denise, especially Denise, can trust and know that the girls will be taken care of and safe while in your possession. It will take this woman/partner to help you turn your life around and in a better direction. Let’s just hope, Charlie, you start making better decisions were your woman is concerned.
You seem so full of violence and anger sometimes. It makes me wonder how peaceful or violent your dreams are while you sleep. Charlie, let’s discuss dreams for a minute. Have you ever had a dream were you were drowning in a rough, choppy ocean and all of a sudden an angel swooped down and grabbed you up and flew you to shore to safety? How about a dream where you were in a sword fight on a pirate ship, with an experienced and quite capable sword fighting female you had captured. By the time she was done, you didn’t know if you wanted to fight her or f*ck her, did you? She definitely gave you a run around the ship! Charlie, did you ever have a dream where you were in a large cave room up on a stage area were worshippers performed their sacrifices and rituals. On the stage a large clear box, a large group of people watching as they try to enclose you alive in the clear box. Slowly the lid is lowered, you try to keep it from coming down on you to no avail. Then all of a sudden someone intervenes on your behalf and using their mind to blow the lid of the box to smithereens so you could escape and get away. Here’s another one. Have you ever dreamed an angry mob/tribe had you strapped up to those long poles that rip you apart when the ropes are cut? Something being shouted about “Your God”. Only to once again, have an angel swoop in, cut the ropes which secured you to the poles, grab you in mid-air and fly you off to safety. Have you ever had any dreams, such as these? And who is that angel, that pirate girl, your dream girl to the rescue?
Once again, Charlie, do you believe in intuition, dreams, fate or destiny?
Now Charlie has a couple of opportunistic, seedy whores up living in his house.
Maybe three whores by now, he’s constantly looking for new ones. Says he’s done with marriage. He even has the audacity to call these whores- Goddesses. Be careful Charlie, you don’t want to anger the REAL Gods/Goddesses, do you? Wait a minute; I think you angered one pretty good on 2/21/2011. How have things been, since then, for you Charlie? Lost your Good Luck Charm, did you? I did, however, make a wish for you about a year ago, that when your contract was done with 2 ½ Men, that you could get a night time talk show to keep yourself busy and out of trouble. I thought it would be less stressful and something good for you. I thought you could start the show sitting at a piano, you start playing, the curtain rises then everyone sees it is you. You would be able to show off your musical talents that you really have on the piano. Then have some really cool guest on to cut the bull. A musical group or guest. I think it will work. So this wish is still good. I don’t want it back. And as far as, Charlie for President, that already crossed my mind years ago. You need to wise up and take better care of yourself. Lose the whores and get your life back in order, for you and your children. If you really have Adonis DNA, then prove it. Aphrodite says, "Step up to the plate".
I see the visions… I keep my visions to myself.
It has been very difficult and heart breaking for me to watch Charlie’s fall from grace, to watch his soul in such pain and agony and to watch the demise of his health/looks/mind. There is a battle going on here people. I have stood face to face with the devil himself. He knows Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and he knows I mean business. A battle for Charlie’s soul, come Heaven, Hell or high water. And the head honchos @ CBS/WB and Chuck Lorre need to realize, understand and be the bigger man/men, is that Charlie was/is coming down and going through some major withdrawals from years of hard-core drug use (of which they were all well aware of for years). During major withdrawal, the addict will say and do stupid, hurtful things, that once they sober up, regret immensely and are even embarrassed by their words and actions. His inner circle should have looked out for him better and kept him away from the media during this time, until he had cleaned his system out and sobered up. He should have been put in a padded room for his own safety and good. Sometimes Charlie can be his own worst enemy. But, like Natty (opportunist) said, “I’m on the bus for the ride and I don’t care where the bus is going.” I’m sure she doesn’t care where the bus is going, just as long as she is there for the fame ride. The bus could crash & burn and she could care f*cking less. Same thing for that Bree/Rachel whore. I am sure Charlie really regrets some of the things he said and that he caused a lot of people to lose their income and for the show 2 ½ to be in jeopardy. I just think it is wrong to totally hold what he said against him, when we could all tell he was literally out of his mind at the time from the drug withdrawals and felt hurt, discarded and abandoned. He has sobered up and seems to be getting better. I take that back, him and Chuck Lorre are still going at each other like Jr. High bullies. Charlie was at his death bed, in case some of you couldn’t tell. If Charlie wants his job back, I suggest he make a sincere, real, heartfelt apology and admit he was literally out of his mind at the time from the drugs and that given the chance again, he would not make the same mistakes. Charlie has wised up and realizes he was on a very deadly path. Firing a guy when he is literally knocking on death’s door, just doesn’t seem to be the answer to make this right again between everyone involved. This world lacks compassion, everyone likes to jump on the bandwagon and kick a person when their down, instead of trying to lift them up from the despair that surrounds them. We need to lift each other up, people. This planet would be such a better place with that kind of love coming from each of us.
Charlie, what ever became of that girl from years ago, who made that happy ever after wish for the two of you? Charlie, do you want to play the part of Prince Charming or the part of Court Jester? You definitely know how to f*ck up a perfectly good Cinderella, happy ever after love story. You have gone through so many women, Charlie. You have tried the glass slipper on so many imposters (women/whores). I hope that you can find peace within your mind, heart and soul and that one day you find true love, lasting happiness and inner peace for yourself. This, I wish for you, Prince Charming.

Yours Truly,
Cinderf*ckinrella
(Just a little piece of my mind)

1085 days ago
113.

RoastBeef    

@Kathyo
charlie sheen can go on a national tour and rip apart everyone from the mothers of his kids to cancer stricken patients.....

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Do you think you'll ever get an answer to that? Charlie sinks to the lowest to demean people who aren't even there, but it's allowed because that's how he feels right at that moment and that's okay. The cult followers will defend and rationalize his every smelly fart, but once someone gives back a drop of what Charlie has flung at everyone, they begin the mud slinging.
Charlie could snap a kitten's neck on stage and they'd blame the kitten because it had no right to be there. It's much easier to be entertained than reason with them. I had many a good chuckle reading the defenders of the plague. Their anger, vidictiveness and bitterness is akin to their master warlock.

1085 days ago
114.

jacksonfive210    

kathyo,
fox is gonna sign him if charlies such a dumb ****ty person then why are mark cuban and donald trump stick up for him and say hes a smart guy **** mark cuban has been in talks with charlie trying to get in business together and cuban and trump are very successful smart men.

everyone else,
and I respect charlie because hes not being fake and doing a bull **** public apology when they are just sorry for getting caught and then check into sex rehab because they just wanted some strange haha I mean people with real sex addiction do some messed up **** to bang. I mean yall dont give him credit for staying clean and ur like he's not clean when there have been no reports of him using and im sure if he was using we would know there would of been a report of it. plus half of you where bitching like ohh just cause tmz reported brooke was using doesnt mean she is and then yall are being hypocritical. I mean its kind of warner brothers fault two and half men got cancelled I mean charlie had his part into it too but he never missed a day when they where filming yes he missed practice days but that didnt cost wb any money but its not like he never came to practice days and he only took a week or two so he could detox and then came back and I bet wb def. wasnt expecting charlie to get clean and come back to work so fast and they could of finished the season but because they wanted him out so bad they ran out of options and just shut down production in hope of pissing the warlock off and charlie isnt known for badmouthing two and half men intill all this started happening.

1085 days ago
115.

real deal    

It's obviously aimed at Charlie. It seems he's saying that they had cause to be concerned that Charlie's "personal life" was having a noticable effect on the set. And if only Charlie had played ball and gone to detox and rehab in Palm Springs, or some other resort, everything would have been fine.

Instead, Charlie is out of a job. In the final analysis, whether you think rehab works or doesn't, it may have indeed been worth it for Charlie to at least play the game. #duh #math!!! A 28 day break would have done him good. Instead he went the Sober Valley Lodge route, with crack breaks, porn stars, media blitz, Sheen's Korner and now these stupid shows.

But who isn't a Monday morning quarterback?

He might be alright if nobody contacts his former employer...LOL

1085 days ago
116.

Kathyo    

Hey Bbrown,

I'm just expressing my opinions based on the FACTS that have come out of his own mouth and based on is own actions and I find his words and actions...past and present DISGUSTING

1085 days ago
117.

jacksonfive210    

raymond
I know right hes done those gay cards since he first started out and he wasnt important then and def. not important now and everyone bitches about charlie rants I mean come on have you read what he says on those cards hes got hundreds of them and they are all stupid rants that arent important I would rather listen to charlie any day of the week I would love to watch charlie smash levine's head into the ground and then charlie would be winning all over levine's incapacited scrawney body. DONT **** WITH THE WARLOCK HAHA

1085 days ago
118.

ChorizoSupreme    

Judging from his desire to paste his "vanity cards" after every show is a clear sign of what a self-important douche bag Chuck Lorre is. The fact that he created a show based on Charlie Sheen's life tells how he is not that much different than Sheen himself. Both are narcissists who don't contribute anything meaningful to society.
As sad as it is to admit, Charlie's discombobulated rants and letters are a lot more entertaining than these idiotic vanity cards. What makes Chuck Lorre look pathetic is that he actually thinks he is some kind of genius.
If Chuck Lorre wants an example of a true comedic Producer/Writer he should turn his sight to Larry David. Larry David is both creative and funny as hell, and he doesn't waste his time putting self-indulgent vanity cards at the end of the show.

1085 days ago
119.

Kathyo    

Way too many people on here make assumptions based on things they read....NONE of us know exactly why production was shut down. To most of us, it makes more sense that it was due to the erratic behavior of a drug addicted actor who has continued on to be consistently erratic. You'll have a hard time convincing me that WB decided to just throw away millions and millions of dollars. Seems to reason that they would prefer to keep the actor that helped make these millions healthy. The actor himself chose not to do what was REQUIRED and asked by his employees....hence the actor deserved to be FIRED!

1085 days ago
120.

Melissa S    

bbrown. Wow, calm down, breathe.

1085 days ago
Previous 15 Comments | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

Around The Web