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Lindsay Lohan in 'Scary Movie 5'

My Life Is

One Big Joke

12/22/2012 10:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
EXCLUSIVE

1123-sheen-lohan-sub-2Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen share the screen together in "Scary Movie 5" -- and while you think they'd each get made fun of equally, TMZ has learned the majority of the jokes come at LiLo's expense ... and boy do they have a lot of material to work with. 

TMZ has seen the working script for "SM 5" (don't worry we won't give too much away) and it starts with LiLo and Charlie in bed making a sex tape (obviously, what else?). As they get started Lindsay tells Charlie, "Okay but let's do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning ... It's a driving mishap thing."

CHARLIE: "Promise me you won't drive."
LINDSAY: "That's very sweet. You're worried about me behind the wheel."
CHARLIE: "I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian."

But wait there's more ...

As things start to get hot and heavy (don't worry they cut down the actual kissing!) Charlie keeps running into LiLo's numerous bodily devices ... i.e. her sobriety monitor, tracking anklet, and a dog shock collar for orgasm help.

Once the scary stuff kicks in -- and Charlie gets thrown across the room -- Lindsay SCREEEAMS ... but it's only because she's watching her own crappy movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded." In the trailer (below) the joke got switched to her watching the news instead ... which shows her probation being revoked



The jokes go on like this for awhile until at one point Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, "You were driving." 

AND FYI
-- This is all from the "working script" (Hollywood speak!) ... so you can check out the trailer, but it's anyone's guess what made the final cut.

525 COMMENTS

No Avatar
106.

MADISYN, LIAISON TO THE H8TURDS!!    

Is it just me or is Smitty/Marvin/Sam/HELLp/Ginger just vanishing TOGETHER just my imagination . . .?

637 days ago
107.

birdman    

lmao way to give the whole movie away not like i would ever pay to see this anyways -_-

637 days ago
108.

ilovegossip    

Red Cloud, did you ever think that the reason that Lindsay looks halfway normal in the above picture is because it's taken from a distance? Here is a close-up from the same scene and THIS is what you get!

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=98328

637 days ago
109.

Dr. Cornelia J. Dogbarker PhD    

I bet that dumb bitch Low-han is clogging a toilet somewhere right now!

637 days ago
110.

mannequin    

What a horrible actress. Your acting days are over Ms Lohan, kindly step off the screen.

637 days ago
111.

Grandma Cracker    

I just love how all the enablers come on here and say that everybody sells her out. This is a joint effort to make cash by ALL of the Lohans.....story after story. They have no money.

637 days ago
112.

Grandma Cracker    

I know exactly what she and Dina are doing. They are sitting with computers making new enablers trying to generate hits for TMZ to keep their cash flow up. All of these stories are bought and paid for. She has no money and this is how she is making money now.


BTW, love the little ME ME ME disorder spin. Jails are full of cray cray people. Maybe she will end up on a psychiatric hold in Bellview. That would straighten her out right quick!

637 days ago
113.

Zephyr, Enemy of #LittleWhores    

Oh man, I have to laugh. The enablers just don't make any sense.

On the last page, I posted This Picture of Lohan, from SM5. Of course, it got a hate check.

So much for their credibility, since they only hate-check the poster, and not the content.

God, these fools are so easy.

637 days ago
114.

Chief Gall    

one more...
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Here's one of Lindsay's MANY admirers/fans. Haters have credibility???? Haters?????????????
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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http://img2.bdbphotos.com/images/orig/e/p/epcwbh8besc0cs8.jpg
-


really away........................

637 days ago
115.

Luv    

And this is Ali's birthday cake, with a note by Mike

https://twitter.com/mikelohan/status/282669810242957312/photo/1

637 days ago
116.

tellmeaboutit     

She must be so proud. Every project she's hired to do is based completely on the huge joke that she's made of herself.
WTH was the timing of this throw away movie anyway? Was it filmed after Lizard Dick? That line about "you were driving," after she lied about careening into that truck, should be played in court for all of her hundreds of court issues, past and future, just to show what a resposible woman she is. Burp.

637 days ago
117.

swack    

Another day, another story - 29 more days of thes insignificant stories to keep Lindsay relevant. Come on TMZ move on from these ridiculous stories.

637 days ago
118.

SPAM    

Hey Red Rocket.... I did look at Linds' IMdB page.
In fact, I copied it just for you. Here:

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Satisfied?????????????????????????????

637 days ago
119.

Grandma Cracker    

Oh poor Lindsay, that photo is so old, back when Meryl thought she was adequate. Wasn't that right before she started her life of crime?

637 days ago
120.

stargazer    

Not sure why exactly TMZ felt as though this deserved attention. The entire segment she's featured in is apparently under 4 minutes long.

637 days ago
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