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Lindsay Lohan in 'Scary Movie 5'

My Life Is

One Big Joke

12/22/2012 10:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

1123-sheen-lohan-sub-2Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen share the screen together in "Scary Movie 5" -- and while you think they'd each get made fun of equally, TMZ has learned the majority of the jokes come at LiLo's expense ... and boy do they have a lot of material to work with. 

TMZ has seen the working script for "SM 5" (don't worry we won't give too much away) and it starts with LiLo and Charlie in bed making a sex tape (obviously, what else?). As they get started Lindsay tells Charlie, "Okay but let's do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning ... It's a driving mishap thing."

CHARLIE: "Promise me you won't drive."
LINDSAY: "That's very sweet. You're worried about me behind the wheel."
CHARLIE: "I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian."

But wait there's more ...

As things start to get hot and heavy (don't worry they cut down the actual kissing!) Charlie keeps running into LiLo's numerous bodily devices ... i.e. her sobriety monitor, tracking anklet, and a dog shock collar for orgasm help.

Once the scary stuff kicks in -- and Charlie gets thrown across the room -- Lindsay SCREEEAMS ... but it's only because she's watching her own crappy movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded." In the trailer (below) the joke got switched to her watching the news instead ... which shows her probation being revoked

The jokes go on like this for awhile until at one point Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, "You were driving." 

-- This is all from the "working script" (Hollywood speak!) ... so you can check out the trailer, but it's anyone's guess what made the final cut.


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She's baaaack    

Art imitates life.

668 days ago

Cheryl A.    

What a boring movie. All you have to do is watch her real court hearings, probations, jail time and ankle monitoring and it wasn't that funny the first time around. Nothing I would pay money for when it's live.

668 days ago

the artist formerly known as hand turkey    

Now I get it, they're just pimping this movie. I wasn't going to watch it with or without Lindsay.

668 days ago


Be funny when the prosecutors use the movie to show how much of a joke Lindsay thinks her crimes are. Should go well for her lol.

668 days ago


Don't worry, Linds. We aren't laughing with you, we're laughing AT you and your pathetic attempts at acting. I'm surprised that Charlie would allow himself to be in the same scene as you.

668 days ago


just go away

668 days ago

Where Are All The Real Celebrities    

Thanks TMZ for introducing us to the last nail in the coffin of a sub-par career.

668 days ago


charlie looks better than HOhan.

668 days ago


And when people hear the Punch Line - nobody's laughing ! But, on the bright side you got voted " Hot Mess of 2012 "

668 days ago


Dress like the homeless
Fight like a whore
Smoke like a chimney
Steal from the poor

Terrorize society
Slander, blame, accuse
Lie to the authorities
Try another ruse

Guzzle 20 magnums
Gack a key of coke
Clamslam a random skank
Smoke smoke smoke

668 days ago


Lets face it every time she gose to court she gets off scott free with no punishment

668 days ago


Really TMZ. Is Lindsay's literal few seconds in this movie worth so many stories?

668 days ago


Holy cow, a real sex tape with Charlie Sheen would certainly secure her financially - set for LIFE. I'm surprised Lindsay hasn't dreamed this up, yet.
Although, having said that, she's not one to really do sex tapes, is she? Dire times can change minds, though.

668 days ago

Where Are All The Real Celebrities    

Charlie Sheen will go down in the laurels of Hollywood history as the last actor to ever work with Lindsay Lohan

668 days ago


Your not famous now and you never were. Go fetch my slippers and newspaper. Then go away.

668 days ago
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