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Lindsay Lohan

Officially Screwed

3/18/2013 8:10 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Lindsay Lohan
will absolutely, positively be LATE for her trial TMZ has learned ... and the judge could issue a bench warrant for her arrest on her first day of trial.

We've learned ... the private jet that is carrying the infamous defendant is scheduled to land at 8:11 AM in Van Nuys, 20 miles from the courthouse.  That means at the time of touchdown -- assuming she lands on time -- she will have 19 minutes to get to the courthouse in the middle of rush hour traffic.  Translation:  No way in hell.

Sources tell us ... the jet was delayed at JFK in NYC and didn't go wheels up until 6 AM EDT.

There are 2 SUVs waiting at Van Nuys airport to take Lindsay and her entourage to court. 

One more complication .... Lindsay left all of her luggage on her original commercial flight.  Someone has already retrieved the bags at LAX and has taken them to the Van Nuys Airport.  Lindsay will change clothes in the car.

One final thing ... Guess how much the private jet costs?  $50,000.  Lindsay didn't pay -- The generous folks at Mr. Pink energy drink covered the tab.


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Someone here mentioned a great point. That luggage cannot fly without her on that plane. The plane would have to wait until her bags could be located and given back to her. They would not, as far as I know, travel to LAX sans whore. Something is strange with that lie she came up with.

549 days ago


She's got only 30 minutes to be IN court. She'll NEVER make it.
I hope the bench warrant is issued & she's put in cuffs outside the courtroom.

549 days ago


Well lets just how MR PINK files this 50K private plane expense-individually as a "gift" or a company related business expense.

549 days ago


It's time to see you in jail for a very long time!

549 days ago


Why is she in court again today? Honestly I can't keep her lawsuits straight. It's the Porsche accident right? Of is it the gypsy fortune teller chick that got the glass thrown at her? Or is us that guy she hit coming out of the nightclub? I'm sure I'm missing one or two

549 days ago


TMZ has live feed up with a countdown timer in the lower right corner. Like the countdown counter Nicole has for her love.

549 days ago


Title fail


Its "Lindsay Flips the Bird at the Law Once Again"

549 days ago


And what 'excuse' will she give in court today for being late? Who will she blame?
I say she'll blame the commercial flight she chose to get off, because she ffeht

549 days ago


I will make sure to never consume anything by Mr. Pink.

549 days ago


Judge should make a ruling:

Lindsay can never leave the Thirty Mile Zone surrounding the LA court.



549 days ago



Lindsay Lohan Is Having Final Destination Premonitions Now (UPDATE)

This is what happens when Lindsay Lohan's day in court is scheduled for the day after International Drunk Day (aka St. Patrick's Day). LiLo's latest date with the California Justice System is this morning and she was supposed to fly out from NYC to LA on Saturday, giving her a full day to get court-ready glamorous. But since LiLo is a professional f.uck up and can't stop f.ucking up, she skipped her flight on Saturday to see a band instead. TMZ says that LiLo made it to the airport on Sunday night for a 6pm flight and her ass actually got on the plane, but right before takeoff, she jumped off the plane. Apparently, LiLo thought the plane was leaking gas. Dealers should really put a "Warning: May Cause Extreme Paranoid" label all on their 8-balls, because coke paranoia is a real thing.

TMZ says that the plane was delayed over an hour due to an issue with the gas tank or something, so LiLo got scared, thought it was going to crash and got off of it. Bitch probably thought she saw a colonial woman on the wing, churning butter. She was churning butter! Or LiLo probably thought she saw a gremlin pulling parts out of the airplane wing. Bitch, that wasn't a sabotaging gremlin. It was just your reflection in the mirror.

LiLo claims that she wasn't the only one who got a final destination vibe from the flight. She says that 35 other people also got off, because they felt the flight was not safe. The plane did up end stopping in Las Vegas to refuel before landing in L.A. after 11pm.

LiLo spent most of her night in the airport lounge trying to get one of her johns to lend him a private plane. At around 2 or 3 in the morning New York time, she finally got a ride on a private jet from the dude who owns Mr. Pink Energy Drink.

Mr. Pink's private plane was supposed to land around 7am PST time and she's supposed to be in court by 8:30 this morning. That gives LiLo less than 90 minutes to make it to court. We all know what's going to happen. LiLo's going to show up late and cry about how her car got a flat tire, got carjacked by gang members and after hitchhiking for an hour, she finally got a trucker to pick her up. But those gremlins who sabotaged her plane must've also sabotaged the traffic lights in L.A., because they hit every red light! The judge will shrug, tell her to do better next time, validate her parking and then send her on her way. Nothing is going to happen to this mess.

UPDATE: Aaaaaand she's going to be late. TMZ says that Mr. Pink's jet isn't scheduled to land until 8:11am, which gives LiLo less than 20 minutes to get to court on time. It's not going to happen, so ho better start pulling those excuses out of her ******* right about now.

549 days ago


UPDATE>>>There are 10 bumper cars waiting at Van Nuys airport to take Lindsay and her entourage to court.

549 days ago


After the Lockerbie bombing, they banned having luggage travel without that person being on board. So how could Lohan get off the plane (or never get on) and still have her luggage on the commercial flight?

549 days ago


Guess I won't be buying any Mr Pink products. Their prices will be going up from all the private trips she's taken in their jet.

549 days ago


Why do you all hate me so much! Live your own lives!!!!

549 days ago
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