Here is a rough transcript of Jon Gosselin's inner monologue as he left the Ivy yesterday, the most notorious paparazzi mecca in town, after a two-hour lunch.

LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME I WONDER WHERE THE KIDS ARE LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!