If you ever wondered how NOT to pick up a gorgeous bikini model, Andy Dick recently put on a free clinic ... and luckily for you, we have video of the entire ordeal.

It all went down during the recent filming of an online reality show called "If I Can Dream" -- when the smoking hot star of the show, Giglianne Braga, stumbled upon Dick sleeping alone in the sand.

Unfortunately for Braga, Dick woke up ... and began hitting on her like his name was Gerard Butler.

Dick was then rejected more times than he's been arrested -- despite slurring stellar pickup lines like, "I'm gonna kiss you and hold you and cuddle you and f**k you."