La Toya Jackson to Family -- Stop Fighting In Public!!!

La Toya Jackson is a conscientious objector ... REFUSING to take part in the Jackson media war ... because she believes all of the PUBLIC feuding is damaging the family name.

La Toya -- who's not exactly shy when it comes to publicity -- has been noticeably absent from the media blitz surrounding Michael Jackson's kids and the MJ Estate.

We're told La Toya feels VERY STRONGLY that the most effective way to solve the family problems are NOT to attack each other in public ... but rather hash things out quietly ... and respectfully ... in private.

So whose side is she on? Sources say she's definitely NOT aligned with Janet, Randy, Jermaine and Rebbie ... and wasn't thrilled to see them camera-whoring all over TV this week.