ABC News We're Selling Out to the Kardashians

10/21/2013 7:00 AM PDT

ABC News -- We're Selling Out to the Kardashians

Screw Obamacare or the murderers that broke out of prison in Florida, ABC News just sent out an email blast to the media with the most important news of the day -- IT'S KIM KARDASHIAN'S BIRTHDAY!!!

Seriously, ABC News just fired off a news release with the subject line, "Kim Kardashian Turns 33."

Wait, before we go any further .... ABC included a note at the top of the email warning, "News organizations using excerpts of this reporting should credit/link to ABC News."

But ABC didn't launch the press release JUST to tell us information widely available on the interweb -- they also made sure we knew, "In honor of the reality star’s 33rd birthday, we are dedicating our entertainment section to all things Kim Kardashian."

The email concludes, "Don’t forget to wish her a happy birthday!"

Oh, we won't!!!

Keep up the good work ABC News -- delivering the news the people NEED to know.

Now, excuse us ... we have an exclusive Kevin Federline story to write.