Dear Britney, Do NOT Listen to This Man!

3/1/2007 2:16 PM PST
Last night a fan asked Jessica's dad, Joe Simpson, what he thinks about Britney Spears going to rehab, and her recent umbrella attack on the paparazzi. Why oh why would anyone listen to this man?

Let's go over Joe's parenting resumé: ruined his daughter's marriage? Check. Mismanaged her career? Check. Lecherous, inappropriate comments about her physical attributes? Check.

So please, Brit, take fashion advice from Bai Ling, acting lessons from Mariah Carey, and singing lessons from William Hung. But please, oh please, do not listen to Joe Simpson. Thank you.