The Charred Ghost of Shauna Sand's Future

12/31/2008 3:00 PM PST
The human remains of Donatella Versace frolicked on the beach in St. Barts on Wednesday.

La Dona's purple bikini accented all the latest trends this season: fried hair, plutonium injected breasts and saggy leather skin.

All the alleged 53-year-old needs is a pair of orthopedic Lucite platform stripper heels and she could be the spitting, coughing, hacking image of Shauna Sand in five years.