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Candy to Tori:

Get Real, Baby

7/27/2009 1:15 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Candy & Tori SpellingCandy Spelling -- the mother famously at war with her daughter -- has taken the bold step of communicating with Tori Spelling through TMZ ... and her opening line isn't gonna get her a lot of invites. Here's the open letter in all its glory:

EXCLUSIVE TO: TMZ.COM
TO: MIDDLE-AGED REALITY SHOW STARS (LIKE MY DAUGHTER)
FROM: CANDY SPELLING

I Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn't match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it's the same way with my daughter.

Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings.


I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori's, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter's first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me.

Cue music. Cue sideways glances. Cue Lights.

I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I'm sure its delivery will be on next week's episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won't like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh.

A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show.

Spoiler alert. Don't read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying "she's late." I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that I would not be attending.

Back to other reality stars. My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it.

For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.
1285 COMMENTS

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76.

Meg    

Candy Spelling is, and always will be, a bitch. You're the mother, grow up and be the bigger person.

1829 days ago
77.

justmyimagination    

Wow! This is really sad. Mothers shouldn't compete with their daughters. EVER! It seems like Candy Spelling is more concerned with how she looks in the public eye than with how her daughter sees her. I think Candy is on a major power trip because she has Aaron Spelling's money. It's extremely unfortunate that Aaron Spelling didn't divide up his wealth equally amongst his wife and children before his passing. If he had, my guess is there wouldn't be a problem between them. I'm sure there's a side story to that decision as well. IMO, Candy is no more deserving of Aaron Spelling's wealth than his children are, but unfortunately Candy has a competitive attitude towards her daughter. For the life of me, I have never understood women like that. It's really really sad.

Something I don't think Candy really "gets" is that daughters expect their mothers to be wiser than them. Obviously this is not the case here, but it doesn't stop a daughter from wanting. It seems like Tori feels wounded in some way or feels that her mother abused her power over her when she was younger. I really hope that the both of them work this out before it is too late. Someone has to take the high road. When you pass from this world you can't take any of your money with you. So what is the point of being right? It really would be a shame if Candy left all her money to charity just to spite Tori. Hopefully Candy will set her ego aside, call her daughter and have a heart to heart talk with her instead of contacting TMZ to air her grievances. I think all a daughter really wants is to know that her Mother loves her and accepts her as she is, and most of all I think daughters want to feel protected by their mothers. I imagine having your mother publicly bash you must be extremely hurtful.

Blessings to the both of them and I hope Candy gets to have a "real" relationship with her daughter and granddaughter someday.

1829 days ago
78.

Helaine Blatt    

Bravo Candy! As a mother of daughters and a grandmother I can't imagine how Tori could be so cruel. Children learn by example and as they say, "What comes around goes around." Tori, don't be surprized if your children treat you as you are treating your mother!

1829 days ago
79.

marty    

Actually Toris' mother is right: married couples are supposed to visit their parents and bring their child to meet grandma (if she wasn't available during delivery). No the other way around. And what money Tori got from her father's passing have or shouldn't have nothing to do with this. This money, I believed was set up while the father was living. If Tori wasn't sure, she should have contacted her dad while he was alive and ask him how much he would have given her, if this was important to her. Having said that I don't think she was concern then. She is an independent woman and her father saw that. She have proved time and time again that she can support herself, unlike mom. However mom was entitled to the money, that's why she was married to him. Mother and daughter should bury their hatchet and talk to each other. I had similar situation with my daughter and she wouldn't let me see my grandkids, but I talked my way in and let her know how much I love her and the children. Tori's mom should do the same: she should let Tori know how much she is loved and appreciated. And her mother should reinforced to her daughter that her father loved her even tought he didn't match that with money. But he must to have his reasons: he probably didn't want his daughter to end up and 'spoiled brat' with millions who wouldn't work for a living. Her father made his empire from scratch and Tori could do the same if she wanted to.About Tori's childhood 'enduring' having to eat vegetables she didn't like or whatever should have no effect on Toris' adulthood today. Maybe she should contact a counselor to deal with these minor 'setbacks' in her life and stop the game she is playing today of blaming everyone else for whatever happened to her. Take responsiblity for your actions and for your being. Open note to Tori: Unless a vicious crime was comitted on you that we should know about it, I think you should move on. Life is too short to spend it in this trivial equations. Open letter to Tori's Mom: please call your daughter and let he know how much you love her, is your job mom. Open the communication path, it will make your life and hers easy.

1829 days ago
80.

JR    

One thing is clear Tori loves her kids. As for Candy just because biology makes you a grandparent, doesnt mean you earned the right. Who cares about the other BS and step up to the plate for the kids. It is not Tori's job it is Candys!

Every day she is absent from those childrens lives they will resent it more and more later on in life. You have already killed the relationship with your daughter do not do it to those sweet babies. When a grandparent hurts a chiled it is unfair and cruel no matter what the reason!

1829 days ago
81.

ohgod    

what candy forgot to add is that tori doesn't film anyone who doesn't want to be on camera.

1829 days ago
82.

HARDY-HAR-HAR    

CANDY! What is wrong with you????

I'm a mother. And I can honestly say that regardless of what my kid did, or didn't do, I would always love and protect her and would never be public about anything like this. What is your problem lady? Obviously you were not a very involved mother while your kids were growing up. You're detached, and it shows. It's sad. This whole thing is just sad. And ridiculous.

What in the world is more important than family? You have grandchildren. Do they know you? What do you want your life to be about? Will you be known only as this lonely old lady who writes letters to online tabloids and lives all alone, with all her money... and who disrespects her family?

I really like Tori, and because I do, I feel bad about being harsh to you -- you are, after all, her mother. But you just need to do some serious soul searching. Nothing is better than family. Things need to be fixed. That's all I'll say.

1829 days ago
83.

stolto morta    

I think candy had no choice but to write TMZ.... Tori makes a good living trashing her mom on her show. She gets all the publicity..... so it is Candy's right to let her side be heard.

Now, granted...... after this letter, a reunion will not be a hope again for these two until Tori, loses her husband, or Candy is on her deathbed..... But, no matter about that.

I think it is CRAP that Tori whines and whines about her mom not seeing her kids, she could have easily invited her out for lunch or a park privately, but chose to capture the humiliation of her mother for ratings, while trying to appear innocent and pure of heart..... bull..... I think Candy did the right thing here. Sooner or later Tori's gig of poor me, will need a new boost of drama cause this gravy train WILL run dry.

I am not saying that Candy is a saint in this whole thing..... but if it was me I wouldn't go into that trap of an event either....

I never watched 90210 and only seen one episode of Tori and Dean.... that was enough....lol


1829 days ago
84.

My two cents    

In my opinion I do think it was pretty unfair of Candy to leave Tori with only 600k when the family was worth so many millions of dollars. I doubt Aaron had NO clue what he was leaving Tori or could it be his Will was manipulated (who knows), but that is not the point, Candy is sitting on heaps of money and she cannot share it with her kids? I guess I just cannot understand that. Why would anyone do that to their child when you are so dang blessed with so much money??

I cannot blame Tori for moving on and attempting to re-invent herself to financially provide for her family via Reality TV or books but it has also come to a point that Tori needs to quit feeding into the Candy scene, even if it is for ratings. Both Candy and Tori need to quit using the public to air their ugly and humiliating dirty laundry. I cannot imagine that Aaron Spelling ever wanted his legacy to be THIS. Both these women should be utterly ashamed of themselves for soiling the memory of such a wonderful man. I am appalled.

1829 days ago
85.

Drew    

SHAME on you TORI!!!!!!!!!!! You are all about your ratings not your Mother's feelings.
I'm on teem Candy!

1829 days ago
86.

Shiloh13    

OMG!! How inappropriate is this??? An "open" letter to Tori through TMZ! How pathetic~ I never really watched 90120 but I did read both of Tori's books and I watch her television show. I have to say I found her very funny, honest and sincere. She appears to be a really down to earth person. I will never believe that their wasn't somebody (uh, maybe Randy) that didn't have Tori's direct email address or telephone number that she could have addressed this to. This is just wrong. You don't talk to your daughter through the media. I do believe I have heard Tori say on her show that she wants Candy to be a part of her children's lives. The one thing she asked is to not do it through any form of media. Talk to her directly. After reading this "open letter" I now feel even worse for Tori than I already did. You can tell she would really love to have some sort of relationship with her mother or at the very least she would like to have Candy involved in her children's lives. Stella just turned one and Candy has not found a way to even meet her??? That is just WRONG!! Candy you need to grow up and set up. Be a mother. Be a grandmother. I honestly don't think this has anythng to do with the money. Tori and Dean seem to be doing very well with their acting, book writing and reality show. I don't think it's like they were in dire straights and needed the money and didn't get it. She got some money and Tori seems to be a very hard worker. She is making her own way in this world and making her own money. She just want to have a mother in her life. I feel Tori is being sincere when she talks about her mother on the show. She appears to really be feeling pain about not having a relationship with her mother. Tori keep your head held high and know that you are being the bigger person in this situation because you are not trying to carry on dialoge through the media. Candy you need to make every effort possible to see your grandchildren while you can. I personally think Candy is the one to blame for this big mess. Tori is not responding through the media she is trying to do what is right. Best wishes to Tori, Dean, Stella and Liam! Candy....grow up and be a mother!

1829 days ago
87.

Juliette    

From everything I have read on both ladies, I tent to lean on the side of Tori Spelling. Her mom, when Aaron Spelling died, had been keeping compnay with, acording to her, "just a friend." Since when is "just a friend" alsways at your house, and there when your husband is away. Mrs. Spelling never seemed to shed a tear when her husband passed away. I think, in the end, Cany was just a gold digger who had already gotten what she wanted. I see no compassion or hint of love in anything that this woman does.

1829 days ago
88.

bailee44    

15. I bet when Candy dies, she will leave all her money to charities. Ha ha!

Posted at 2:06AM on Jul 26th 2009 by Paparazzo@frog.cc

I hope she does, TORI is nothing but a SPOILED little bitch. Just a spoiled little rich girl with an eating disorder. She looks gross.

1829 days ago
89.

Pistol    

Dear Candy,

Shut. Up.

1829 days ago
90.

p villalvazo    

I remember seeing Tori and her brother step out of a limo on Halloween. She was a cute bumblebee. Her Daddy stepped out with them. You could tell he loved them, just like a Dad next door anywhere USA . They were in a Beverly Hills neighborhood and it was probably 1985. I would not call her middle-aged, but maybe her mother is a senior citizen.

1829 days ago
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