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Celebrity Justice
Prisoner: I Impregnated Kate G. & Octomom

Posted Nov 7th 2009 9:30AM by TMZ Staff

An Indiana prisoner claims his swimmers are responsible for Kate Gosselin's eight AND Octomom Nadya Suleman's latest litter ... and now he wants his supposed spawn to come live with him in lockdown.



In the most entertaining handwritten court papers you'll ever read, Jonathan Lee Riches -- who has filed many lawsuits against celebs in the past -- wants custody of the Gosselin kids, the Suleman kids, John Edwards' love child, all the kids on "ABC's 'All My Children'" and Bristol Palin's child "which Bristol kidnapped from Linda Tripp."

In the awesome papers, filed in Illinois, Riches claims he met Kate "at a Harrisburg Long John Silvers over octopuss" -- and when Kate went to a fertility clinic in 2002, his "sperm was added to the mix."

More awesome lines included in the papers:

-- "TLC stands for Torturing Little Children."

-- "Jon Gosselin is really a woman on steroids."

-- "I sued Black History Month."

There's much more awesomeness to be had ... JUST READ THE PAPERS.

Tags: all my children, AllMyChildren, bristol palin, BristolPalin, gosselin, john edwards, JohnEdwards, kate gosselin, KateGosselin, nadya suleman, NadyaSuleman, octomom

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1. He'll never go from rags to riches.

Posted at 1:37AM on Nov 7th 2009 by the butler

2. haha someone has alotta time on their hands

Posted at 1:44AM on Nov 7th 2009 by nick

3. kate who hates 8 is currently hanging out at the casino in windsor, ontario, canada.

Posted at 1:49AM on Nov 7th 2009 by midi

4. What? He doesn't want MJ's kids, too? Must be an underachiever!

Posted at 1:49AM on Nov 7th 2009 by Amanda

5. This same lunatic filed another hand-written document in Florida some months back, where he claimed that OBAMA was MICHAEL JACKSON'S secret SON, that MJ and Farah Fawcett both gang-raped him at the same time while on a faris wheel and gave him anal cancer etc, and a whole lot of other even crazier things... No joke, here's the documents...

http://rapidshare.com/files/303503125/JLR_vs_MJ.pdf

Posted at 1:54AM on Nov 7th 2009 by Sal

6. One man's family.....*crickets*

Posted at 2:00AM on Nov 7th 2009 by 52pick-up

7. I can NOT believe someone actually stamped this crap. THAT is way more funny then this insane nutjobs claims.
I must admit, it is funny though. G1 TMZ.

Posted at 2:14AM on Nov 7th 2009 by LMAO

8. it's people like this that make america awesome

Posted at 2:08AM on Nov 7th 2009 by bob

9. Nick...he's in jail! of course he has time on his hands!

he's probably too crazy to be someone's bitch for that matter

Posted at 2:10AM on Nov 7th 2009 by Lizet

10. Oh my god, this is gold.
I would not mind getting impregnated by this guy, no matter how crazy he may be.

Posted at 2:24AM on Nov 7th 2009 by Tricky

11. Yeah, because mental health issues are friggin' hilarious.

Posted at 2:26AM on Nov 7th 2009 by Just sayin'

12. WOW if i say i am the jackson kids bio mom will i get on TMZ home page too?

why and where is this even a news-worthy story, yay a creative writing moron. I guess if i want 15 mins that bad I can make stuff up and people will consider it something to garner everyones attention on! I remember the good old days where obvious attention seeking liars and money hungry story tellers were not given their 15 mins and mostly ignored (except for tabliods)......not anymore...

TMZ i am very disappointed to see that your standards are so low, definately lost some cool points...I wonder if you'll be reporting on aliens and conspiracy theories involving jon and kate, octomom and MJ too!

TMZ please do not become a tabloid!!!!!!

Posted at 2:42AM on Nov 7th 2009 by PurpleKalla

13. And this is the kind of frivolous $hit we get pay for when mentally challenged inmates are permitted to file such BS lawsuits. INSANE! This REALLY, R E A L L Y irks me! WHY DO THEY ALLOW SUCH BS COURT PAPERS TO EVEN BE FILED???

Posted at 2:41AM on Nov 7th 2009 by Anastasia

14. The Prime Minister of Sweden visited Washington today, and my tiny little nipples went to France... The Whitehouse greeted the Prime Ribroast Minister, and I do the cha-cha, like a sissy girl... I lika... do... da cha-cha.

Posted at 3:02AM on Nov 7th 2009 by Evan Baxter

15. .....PURE SHENANIGANS.......

Posted at 3:01AM on Nov 7th 2009 by GG

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