Tami from 'Basketball Wives' -- If Meeka Comes Back, I'm Gone!

Tami Roman is throwing an ultimatum at the producers of "Basketball Wives" -- either Meeka Claxton does NOT come back next season ... or she walks.

Tami -- who used to be married to NBA star Kenny Anderson -- tells TMZ ... the straw that broke the reality star's back came when Meeka sued her over a fight that went down in Italy last month.

Tami says she knows "things got out of hand" with Meeka ... and she's "embarrassed" that things got violent ... but she was willing to let bygones be bygones ... until Meeka decided to sue.

Now Tami tells us, "I will NOT work with someone who is suing me, when they know what this situation is all about. I want to be clear, if she returns in any way, form or fashion I do not plan on participating."