(0:00) News you never thought you'd hear -- Lindsay Lohan got high marks from a judge today!
(4:40) Watch out -- Joan Rivers calls in to explain how her daughter Melissa got hooked up with porn honcho Steven Hirsch ... and the first thing out of her mouth is a lube joke.
(6:01) Joan lets the porn jokes flow.
(7:50) Joan flew American Airlines today -- and said she met a flight attendant who witnessed the Alec Baldwin incident!
(10:30) Harvey thinks it's ridiculous that Time's person of the year is "The Protester" -- so who does he think deserved it?
(22:45) Video of Harvey protesting in 1969!
(29:15) Bulls legend Scottie Pippen's multi-million dollar attack on websites that claimed he was bankrupt.
(36:01) Did the Chicago gang Harvey feared back in the day -- the Blackstone Rangers -- appear on the Smother Brothers' show?
(40:45) Were the Rangers a bunch of 12-year-olds?
(44:40) Ban cell phones in cars?