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Lindsay Lohan to Judge

My Spiritual Advisor Can Vouch For Me!!!

12/16/2012 3:44 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Lindsay Lohan
is DESPERATE to avoid jail time ... so much so, she's enlisted the help of her spiritual advisor to make sure that happens.

Sources close to LiLo tell TMZ ... the actress is asking friends, family and her spiritual guru (yup, some people have those) to write letters on her behalf to the judge hearing her case.  Lindsay believes the letters will help prove jail is not the best option for her.

TMZ broke the story ... Lindsay is currently facing up to 245 days in the slammer for her recent probation violation. Or the judge has the option to send her to counseling instead.

We're told Lindsay is convinced a letter from the spiritual advisor will have the most impact. Specifically because he's been helping her since 2008 -- following her 2nd DUI arrest -- and can vouch for the fact that LiLo has benefited from counseling in the past. When she shows up.

As we previously reported, Commissioner Jane Godfrey -- who will arraign LiLo -- isn't big on jail regardless and often times chooses counseling over serving time.

A hearing is scheduled for January 25th.


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I advise her to get the Kneepads out and start filming porn to start making money to pay her legal fees!

684 days ago

Grandma Cracker    

Lohan desperation is showing with this run of weak stories for cash.

All is not well in LindsayLand.

684 days ago


my spiritual advisor can vouch for me too...and she says lilo must go to jail...

683 days ago


my spiritual advisor can vouch for me too...and she said lilo must go to jail and do not pass go...

683 days ago


my spiritual advisor can vouch for me too...she said lilo should go to jail...

683 days ago


and next time on Rent-a-Gypsy.......

683 days ago


The judge is right. Get some real work and focus on that. Also, keep your hair red (the blonde looks like crap) and stop getting collogen injections. You are too young for that!

683 days ago


She needs jail time. That's what she's scared of is jail. I think this would be her turning point if the judge would just let her do a little bit of time. If not, I fear the worst for her.

683 days ago


Is her "spritual " advisor on her pay roll too. Or maybe she is her drug dealer.

683 days ago

Cheryl A.    

Dear Judge,
Please keep the meth head, alcoholic, lying, thieving skank out of jail please. Thank you, signed, Miss Cleo. Yeah,,,,,,that's the ticket !

683 days ago

Where Are All The Real Celebrities    

My spiritual advisor and I usually just sit around drinking a fifth of scotch while he pretends to guide me and I pretend to listen. Win, win all around.

683 days ago


Lindsay's Spiritual Advisor:
Didn't I say I saw something about a big hit? Sorry if it wasn't Liz and Dick but there was a Hit!
Didn't I tell you that you would be the talk of the town?
Didn't I tell you that you would be torn between two places?
Didn't I tell you that you would be running into big things down the road?
So! what's the problem? I told you what I saw, If you don't like it, tough! Now pay up or I'll slap myself and tell them you did it.

683 days ago

Its Nikki Bitches    

Lindsay Lohan ‘has been pulling out clumps of her hair & acting like a zombie’

Both The Enquirer and Star magazine have stories about Lindsay Lohan potentially checking into mental hospital to deal with her crack delusions. I’m not sure what that means except that both outlets have the same parent company and there might be some groupthink going on. And who knows? It could even be a viable solution to Lindsay’s ongoing legal dramas – the judge could give her a choice, jail or a mental health facility.

The ENQUIRER reports in exclusive cover story that LINDSAY LOHAN is more than GONE – she’s FAR gone and may be heading for the last round-up.

Lindsay Lohan continued her downward spiral of self-destructive behavior when she was busted for allegedly slugging another woman in a New York hotspot – and now pals of the troubled actress are saying there is only one thing that can save her!

In the latest issue of The ENQUIRER, we reveal the drastic steps that those close to Lindsay, 26, say she needs to take or risk becoming another Hollywood tragedy.

“At this point, Lindsay is so screwed up that her only hope of survival is an intense stint in a mental hospital under expert care,” an insider says.

‘The problem is that she surrounds herself with users and ‘yes’ people, including her own mother,” an insider told The ENQUIRER. “They’re nothing but phonies and takers – and they’re letting her run wild! Family members and old friends who truly care about her believe that her last chance is being admitted to a facility for a completely mental evaluation.”

Disturbingly, the latest arrest of the “Mean Girls” star came after sources claim she’d been guzzling up to two bottles of vodka a day.

Adding to her problems, Lindsay – who already has a long rap sheet — is facing jail time for allegedly lying to police about an L.A. car crash in June.

What’s more, her finances are in shambles with the IRS hounding her to pay a whopping $250,000 in back taxes. And her performance as screen legend Elizabeth Taylor in the recent TV flick Liz and Dick was panned by critics.

Meanwhile, her behavior is growing more and more erratic.

“Lindsay has been pulling out clumps of her hair and she talks to herself constantly, shouting and cursing when she thinks nobody is around,” confided the insider. “She wanders around in the dead of night like a zombie, half-awake but in a zoned-out trance. She’s in total denial about her problems, but she clearly needs to check herself into a psych ward for mental help. If it worked for Britney Spears, it can work for Lindsay.”

[From The Enquirer, print and online editions]

She pulls out clumps of hair? She walks around like a zombie? Isn’t that just called “meth”? In Star Mag’s version, Lindsay has already seen two doctors in LA, and she was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which… sure. I’ll buy that. Sources claim one of the doctors prescribed Lexapro, Wellbutrin and Xanax, because that’s just what she needs in her life, more pills. But don’t worry, she’s already stopped taking them. A source tells Star, “She ended up getting a little pudgy, so she stopped taking them and began her alcohol-and-cocaine binge again. She also started abusing Oxycontin.” Because of course. One the doctors told her that if she didn’t start taking all of this seriously, she was going to die, and the doctor even said what was most likely: a car accident while under the influence. Sounds about right.

Two more Lohan stories for you… apparently, she’s no longer groupie-stalking Max George and The Wanted. When asked if Lindsay was his girlfriend, Max told a reporter, “No, what’s the right word for her? A yeah, a groupie! She is probably hiding in our suitcase right now!” After that, Lindsay “unfollowed” Max on Twitter and she’s probably crack-pouting about it right now. The second Lohan story is just that thing that I put in the links yesterday – Lindsay can’t make her payments to a storage company, so they’re probably going to be auctioning off her container. She owes the storage rental place $16,000, and she’s asking everyone she knows to cough up some cash to help her save her stuff, but no one is giving her anything. Any guesses to what she has in storage? We could make a lot of fun guesses, but I bet she has lots and lots of clothes in storage. Of course, many of them have crack-scabies, so even if they’re designer, you wouldn’t want them.

683 days ago

Where Are All The Real Celebrities    

I think Cesar Millan would be a better spiritual advisor, and I'm sure he'd give the Lohan's a group rate lol

683 days ago

Its Nikki Bitches    

This story taken with last week’s Star and Enquirer stories (about Lindsay being diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder) have me wondering if all of this isn’t just Lindsay’s latest crack hustle to stay out of jail. Is she laying the groundwork for her January hearing? Will Shawn Holley tell the judge that her crack’d client needs to be put in a court-ordered mental institution rather than jail? Here’s the problem with that: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. That’s the exact plot. I think Lindsay would hate a mental health facility more than jail, and if I was in her position, I would choose jail over any kind of private or publicly-funded mental health place too.

And remember how Charlie Sheen donated $100K to the crack charity known as Blohan? Charlie confirmed the “gift” and he even said that Lindsay had never thanked him for it. Well, Lindsay wants us to know that she sent Charlie a note and some flowers:

If someone gave me $100K, I would manage more than a brief thank-you note and some flowers. I really would get on my knees for it, but I guess that’s what Lindsay already did, and Charlie was just “paying her for a project”. ??

683 days ago
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