Our TV Shows

Got a Tip?

Call TMZ at (888) 847-9869 or Click Here

Lindsay Lohan in 'Scary Movie 5'

My Life Is

One Big Joke

12/22/2012 10:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

1123-sheen-lohan-sub-2Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen share the screen together in "Scary Movie 5" -- and while you think they'd each get made fun of equally, TMZ has learned the majority of the jokes come at LiLo's expense ... and boy do they have a lot of material to work with. 

TMZ has seen the working script for "SM 5" (don't worry we won't give too much away) and it starts with LiLo and Charlie in bed making a sex tape (obviously, what else?). As they get started Lindsay tells Charlie, "Okay but let's do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning ... It's a driving mishap thing."

CHARLIE: "Promise me you won't drive."
LINDSAY: "That's very sweet. You're worried about me behind the wheel."
CHARLIE: "I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian."

But wait there's more ...

As things start to get hot and heavy (don't worry they cut down the actual kissing!) Charlie keeps running into LiLo's numerous bodily devices ... i.e. her sobriety monitor, tracking anklet, and a dog shock collar for orgasm help.

Once the scary stuff kicks in -- and Charlie gets thrown across the room -- Lindsay SCREEEAMS ... but it's only because she's watching her own crappy movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded." In the trailer (below) the joke got switched to her watching the news instead ... which shows her probation being revoked

The jokes go on like this for awhile until at one point Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, "You were driving." 

-- This is all from the "working script" (Hollywood speak!) ... so you can check out the trailer, but it's anyone's guess what made the final cut.


No Avatar


Why anyone want to get involved with her is a mystery. She is an "F" List unreliable criminal.

637 days ago


So now I can laugh at her in real life and in 'fiction'? Okay.

637 days ago


Wait, I thought Liz & Dick was Scary Movie 5.

637 days ago


Hahahahha can't wait to see this

637 days ago

Where Are All The Real Celebrities    

And you thought it couldn't get any worse after Liz & Dick. Hah!@

637 days ago

Where Are All The Real Celebrities    

Do DUina have enough room on the mantle for two more Razzies?

637 days ago



637 days ago

Where Are All The Real Celebrities    

I think it's about time that somebody really did FREE LINDSAY LOHAN lol

637 days ago



637 days ago


Aren't there any dentists in Los Angeles?

637 days ago


The Tiz looks pretty hot in this. LL is just pathetic, allowing herself to be spoofed like this for a few bucks.Girl cannot act her way out of a paper bag

637 days ago


Can't wait to see her in jail!

637 days ago


So, the only thing left for her in a script is to mock her real life. This reminds me of when she was with Chelsea Handler and was making a joke of her life and shortly thereafter the courts took care of that. I smell no Oscar on this one. What a joke, really. This is why she will never get it.

637 days ago


WOW! Shocking News for the Middle East Sex Tour! We may have over stayed our welcome here in Dubai! The natives are restless! Thanks to Lindsay and her fans for making me famous and Rich!

The local clerics got wind of all the dirty dancing and issued a fatwad or something like is not what Lindsay thought it was. Our friends have advised us to pack up the loot and make like the Virgin Mary; get our a$$es out of town! WOW!

Lindsay does not understand that stoned in Dubai is not the same as in LA or NY. Lindsay does not want to leave her penthouse, the camels, or anything behind. WOW! She is clogging the toilets and showers!

The downstairs neighbors will not be happy about the trickle down factor of having Lindsay in the penthouse! WOW!

WOW! We don't have time for dancing! Please dance for us! The Camel Rimming Boogie is like riding the pony, just with more BIG O lips!

We have no flight plan so the next Tour stop will be based on bids when we are in the air. WOW!

Good Bye Dubai! And thanks for EVERYTHING!

SEND MONEY AND WE WILL SEND LOOT, and for a few dollars more we will send Polansky Videos! WOW!

637 days ago


This just in from some "sources" - A new craze has taken the planet by storm! Everybody's doing it - from continent to continent. Place your bet: Which Lindsay Lohan rerun will be the last to air before her State stretch? “Mean Girls“? “The Clamyons“? “Skank 2: The Whoring“? “612SEX”? “6T Nyne”? Closest guess wins "close to" one million dollars. From someone.

637 days ago
Previous 15 Comments | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

Around The Web