Back for another edition of 'Lost' with the usual crew: Ari, Lauren, Jaimee and Matt. Lauren and I have agreed that 'Lost' and MySpace are the only reasons to live right now. So unless the French woman has a MySpace page, no grandkids anytime soon. Sorry mom!
On with the show...
9:01 - It's Charlie flashback time. Who knew such a cute kid would grow up to be a heroin addict? Charlie's flashbacks are by far the worst of the bunch. I bet either he or his brother becomes extremely undependable at some point.
9:02 - Charlie's brother got Voltron! Lucky brat. What ever happened to my Voltron? I think my mom gave it away along with all my GoBots, He-Man action figures and Transformers. What I wouldn't give to play with Castle Greyskull right now. Yes, I am almost 30.
9:04 - Charlie is having a dream about Aaron being stuck in a piano in the ocean. Doesn't anyone on this island just dream about sex and money like the rest of us?
9:05 - Charlie's getting a little stalker-ish when it comes to the baby.
9:09 - Charlie's jealous of Locke and a little pissed at Claire for keeping him away from Aaron. I am sure he has the best of intentions, but new moms usually try and limit the number of addicts they keep in their kids' lives.
9:11 - The flashbacks of when Charlie was the responsible one kind of bugged me. They make everyone on the island out to be good people who occasionally go bad, never the other way around. Um, Charlie did heroin on a plane -- he's got issues.
9:13 - "Got a love connection there, Jabba?" -- Sawyer.
9:15 - Charlie just went diving into the ocean after Claire's baby. It seems like a different week, someone loses their mind. But in Charlie's case, it's probably just the heroin.
9:17- Claire gave Charlie a good slap. Should have kicked him in the nuts.
9:21 - Sawyer giving Hurley sex advice, good times. And he lacks subtlety too. One word: load.
9:23 - "Kate sees a horse; nothing." -- Charlie. Yeah Charlie, but Kate's not hiding a heroin stash. She gets the benefit of the doubt.
9:25 - Charlie in a diaper is scarier than anything on the island. And since when do diaper commercials have grown men in them?
9:27 - "Do I know you from somewhere?" -- Hurley to Libby. He was in a mental institution, Libby was a psychiatrist. Yeah, they probably know each other.
9:28 - "What if you do need to save the baby?" -- Eko to Charlie. Yeah he's a little crazy and all, but he's obviously going to be right. The Others come after the kids, Aaron is a kid. Seems obvious to me.
9:29 - Perhaps Eko shouldn't encourage Charlie. Just a thought.
9:33 - "You hittin' that?" -- Ana Lucia to Jack. I wanted to see more of the two of them building an army. I hate when 'Lost' veers off track like this.
9:34 - Hey Charlie, what are you doing? Oh nothing, just checking on my heroin stash.
9:36 - Charlie and his brother are sitting around the piano lip-synching singing. If this is the song that is supposed to save them, no wonder Charlie turned into an addict.
9:38 - Ok, so now Locke is pissed at Charlie for lying about the heroin. In the last few weeks, Charlie has managed to have both Eko and Locke mad at him. Not cool.
9:43 - So obviously when there is a baby on a show, they use more than one baby to play the part. But the difference in weight between the faces of the two Aarons is astounding. We are calling one Regular Aaron and one Fat Aaron. Jaimee says she wants fat babies. I don't get women.
9:45 - And now Charlie has set the forest on fire. Do they not have Smokey the Bear in England?
9:47 - Dear J.J. Abrams: Please don't put anymore Charlie flashbacks in the show. They suck. Thank you.
9:49 - And while everyone goes to fight the fire, Charlie steals the baby. He looks like grim death.
9:51 - Locke just handed Charlie a beat down and it's about time. I would trade Charlie for Boone in a second right now.
9:55 - Charlie swears he didn't use heroin. Of course he didn't -- no one on the show screws up ever. I'm not sure when the Others will take Aaron, but it's happening.
9:58 - Fat Aaron was the one who got the baptism. Does that mean regular-sized Aaron will go to hell?
9:59 - Locke decides to keep the statues. Odd choice.
10:00 - And can we do something about the slow motion montages?
OK, that was the worst episode ever. Repeat: WORST EPISODE EVER. 'Lost' drops in one or two episodes a season that have absolutely nothing to do with advancing the story at all. After two A episodes in a row, this one gets an F--, if that's even a grade. You owe me one J.J.