Kimmel Cracks on Paris Card

Fresh from an appendectomy, Jimmy Kimmel returned to his show last night -- just in time to poke a little fun at Paris Hilton and TMZ.

Kimmel found the card Paris sent TMZ to be particularly telling, joking, "So she's learned the alphabet in prison, which is good." Burn!

He then slipped on his art critic hat, critiquing Paris' self-portrait by saying she looks like "a cross between an alien and a blow-up sex doll." Like he could do any better.