Michael Lohan: Duh, The Wedding Is Off!

7/23/2010 6:00 AM PDT

Michael Lohan -- Duh, The Wedding Is Off!

In the most obvious statement ever -- Michael Lohan has declared that his long-standing engagement to Kate Major, the woman who claims he beat her ass ... is officially dead.

Probably for the best -- because it's pretty difficult to marry someone you're not allowed to talk to.