TMZ TV

Rock legend David Bowie is either doing his best everyday Joe impression -- or the guy who couldn't catch a cab to save his life just looks exactly like him. We're 100% sure that we're 100% unsure. Kidding ... sort of.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's book skips about 99.9% of his affair with Mildred Baena -- so, it's time to play FILL IN THE BLANKS ... but from Mildred's perspective!

Alexis Wright allegedly turned her Zumba dance studio into a busy brothel -- which is really bad ... or really good capitalism. We're not sure ... those Zumba moves really mess with your head.

Paris Hilton is the queen of slutty costumes -- sometimes even on Halloween -- which makes this the perfect time to toss her a little, y'know ... inspiration. You're welcome, P.

Not since, "Wanna wash these?" ... has Paul Ryan faced such a tough question: Could a terrorist ever become vice prez? We really hope the candidate (and his armed security) got the reference to "Homeland."

A judge says "The Bachelor" doesn't have to cast African-Americans -- so it's time to celebrate ... if you're a Black man. Seriously, who wants to deal with 25 women constantly fighting and bitching?

Campaign tip for Paul Ryan: skip the kitchen chores, and stick to cute baby photo-ops -- 'cause no one's gonna give ya a hard time about cleaning them properly. Unless ...

'Honey Boo Boo' and her Mama June are making a huge splash in Hollywood -- by hitting their glamorous hotel pool and flaunting some good ole redneck culture (yeah, we said it).

"Big Bang Theory" star Kunal Nayyar didn't just marry a super hot woman -- he married one of the super hottest women in the world ... Miss India 2006! Nerds rule.

Plans for a new "Peanuts" movie aren't sitting well with the O.G. Charlie Brown -- which got us thinking ... where's the rest of his posse now? 3 words: Peppermint. Patty. Ballin'.

Just in case "Argo" isn't proof enough that Ben Affleck is back on top in Hollywood -- check him out dropping a cool hundy on the valet! "Gigli," my ass.

QVC guest host Cassie Slane passed out during a live show -- which is, apparently, no good reason for her partner to stop pitching! Pretty hysterical ... to everyone but Cassie.

Wayne Newton is in the middle of a bonafide Las Vegas conspiracy that might involve sex, murder, and betrayal -- and definitely involves us figuring out what the hell a wallaby is!

Kim Kardashian's hand tried to devour Kanye West's entire ass -- and totatlly overshadowed the fact she's mansion shopping with her with new dude ... while still married to the old dude!

Jerry Sandusky was sentenced to spend 30-60 years in prison for his horrible crimes against children -- so, he's gonna need some music ... for that trip up the river. Maestro ...