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Francis to Paris: Et Tu Caesar

6/11/2007 2:07 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

TMZ received the following letter from "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis. He is currently incarcerated in Nevada:
Joe Francis and Paris Hilton booking photos
June 10, 2007

RE: "American I-Cons"

Dear TMZ,

I returned to my cell the other day after a leisurely walk through the Washoe County Detention Center yard and received a message from Deputy Keast, the Public Information Officer, that you had called. To be honest, I was hoping that my penpal, Candy Spelling, had written me again, but to my dismay I was told that you just wanted to know how I felt about Paris being released from jail early. I was then handed a TMZ.com article titled "American I-Cons". I just thought since I seem to have some extra time on my hands these days that I would like to take a moment to set the record straight.

The "American I-Cons" title is a very clever play on words, but unlike in Paris's current situation, the title does not apply to me. I am not in jail because I have been CONvicted of a crime, but am merely awaiting a chance to vindicate myself.

Paris's early release from jail did not surprise me, nor unfortunately, did her return to jail a day later. My heart goes out to Paris, not only because I consider her a friend, but because I have experienced first hand that incarceration is not set up for high-profile people. In my experience to date, when jail personnel are told to give no special treatment to an individual because of who they are, it normally results in them getting far worse treatment. I must however tell you that this has not been my experience at the Washoe County Detention Center, where my treatment has been fair and where the staff is very considerate. However, the stark reality that I've encountered in the five previous facilities I've been in is that celebrities are segregated from other inmates, and it can be quite a lonely existence with no human contact. It seems as though Paris is seeing this first hand now that she's been sent back to jail to serve her original 45 day sentence. If her name was Jane Doe and everything else in the case remained unchanged, she would never have served a day in jail. As Los Angeles County Sheriff Baca said on Friday: "The special treatment appears to be her celebrity status. She got more time in jail." I empathize with Paris, because I believe I too would not still be in jail were it not for my "high profile status."

Your story also outlined 3 other things: living conditions, food, and free time.

When you discussed my living quarters, you brought up the fact that I was in my own cell until I passed my tuberculosis test. Well, I studied hard and took a Princeton Review crash course and passed it with flying colors. I also passed my HIV test and my hepatitis test as well, so feel free to post the rest of my confidential medical history on TMZ.com, as you and others have done on in the past. I wouldn't want your readers to be getting any incomplete information.

My living arrangements are more than adequate. My cell is actually nicer than my USC dorm room. Yes, it doesn't have cable, but it doesn't have the cockroaches either.

When you discussed food, you mentioned that I was eating "catfood sandwiches, a mix of ground turkey mixed with mayo, and franks n' beans." Well, those two delectable dishes, among others, are offered free of charge to all inmates, but the WCDC also offers inmates the option to order from a local restaurant - "The Burger Barn." My diet actually consists of mostly chicken-Caesar salads with crisp romaine lettuce and half-dressing (my trainer would be proud) usually with a Diet Coke. If I really want to splurge, I may order a Powerbar or two for dessert.

This "free time" thing took me by surprise. I would love to know who gave you the information that I'm out of my cell 8 hours a day. It's probably more like half that. It is during this time that I have the fortunate privilege of meeting new "friends" such as car thieves, drug dealers and murderers. It should make for an interesting night at HYDE when the "gang" and I get back together for a reunion.

Feel free to post a mugshot or two (this one is by far the best). Blue is my color over bright orange for sure, but please remember one thing: In this country anyone who stands accused of a crime is innocent until proven guilty, even if they are a celebrity. I urge that there be no rush to judgment, because you may be wrong. I am still an innocent man standing accused, stuck in jail not because I've been CONvicted of a crime, but rather due to a legal quagmire. I have faced far worse things in the past and I am confident that I will prevail again.

Your friend,
Joe Francis
143 COMMENTS

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1.

Not too surprised    

When's this asshole gonna learn to keep his mouth shut? You may be rich Joe, but you can't buy your way out of being a pathetic loser.

2661 days ago
2.

d-man    

Jack -off

2661 days ago
3.

we love you paris    

WE LOVE YOU!

2661 days ago
4.

Insert comical name here    

This poor misunderstood victim. I feel so sorry for him. Gag.

2661 days ago
5.

Chris Jacobson    

2661 days ago
6.

vanessa    

Genius! I have a new found respect for that man!

2661 days ago
7.

aSiF    

WOW - way to go Joe! You actually said something I can agree with....and I can't stand you or Paris.

2661 days ago
8.

GabeNY    

Would someone care to explain to me how people who are prisoners seem to be HANDED PHONE MESSAGES and are then allowed to send LETTERS back within minutes???!!! SInce when does a jail take phone calls and messages for inmates, allow them to reply and then send back answers???!!! Are they emailing, Fed Exing, what's the deal. He orders in salad, gets to send out sarcastic missives to be posted on the internet etc but he does not think he gets better treatment then the general population?

Paris was so "medically fragile" and on the verge of a breakdown she needed to be released. Ooop, fast forward 48 hours ahead. She is up, walking, talking, giving INTERVIEWS TO BARBARA WALTERS, and having visitors. Pleeeeeeeze. Give us a break. Move on to more interesting gossip. This has become a boring soap opera. I also am not surpised that a guy convicted and charged with everything from rape to tax fraud considers Paris Miss Porn Tape, Drug Using, DUI driver a 'good friend". Happy to ya.

2661 days ago
9.

Mel    

"not set up for high-profile people"

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE SAME FOR EVERYONE A$$HOLE

2661 days ago
10.

Cynic    

Nice subtle attempt at spin!

And barely concealed narcissistic anger at his details being released on TMZ.

The jail should not allow this waste of sperm and eggs to order out, though. That's more luxury than the douche deserves.

Did I detect a hint of threat in there too?

Is there anyone not on Francis's payroll that actually believes this douchebag is innocent?

2661 days ago
11.

SinCity    

What a loser this guy is. No wonder he and Parasite are friends. Birds of a feather.

2661 days ago
12.

stoopit    

are you kidding me?? "incarceration is not set up for high profile people"
what a frickin douchebag.
it you want to be treated fairly then act like the rest of us and quit expecting your preferential treatment. It seems as though you high dollar f*ckwads all think you're better just because you're in the public eye and have more money.
All you little pompus jackasses have proved is that you are going to push your luck and pay your way through as long as you can, and then proceed to cry foul when you get treated like the rest of us.
No regular person would have been treated as nicely as they treated Paris when they picked her up in that squad car. The average Joe would have been slammed to the ground, handcuffed and taken away, naked, half dressed or however they were when the cops got them. Paris had the opportunity to hug her parents and take her sweet ass time getting in to that car.
I , for one, say AMEN to the judge for throwing her ass back in. She doesn't have a mental problem, she's going through withdrawl. Maybe she should have cut back on her "usage" before she turned herself in.
You poor celebrities (and I use that terms loosely) if you're being treated unfairly, pool your money together and build a celebrity friendly resort club jail for yourselves and quit wasting tax payer money. If you want special treatment, I think you should have to pay anll the bill incurred during your stay with the po-po.

2661 days ago
13.

Dora the Explorer    

Dora the Explorer Fan Website

www.allaboutdora.com

Chek dora games, toys,videos, and more!

2661 days ago
14.

PUBLIC SAFETY IS AT STAKE    

CRY ME A RIVER ... IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU AND PARIS EACH BROKE SEVERAL LAWS, PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

YOU BOTH BELONG IN THE SLAMMER.

2661 days ago
15.

NuKiNg FuTz    

This guy is a joke! How could you be innocent until proven guilty when you have sold millions of underaged DRUNK girls exposing themselves!!!! Your just as dumb as you are UGLY! You and Paris deserve to be where you are at! Her money didn't buy her out...and hopefully the same goes for your ass.

2661 days ago
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