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Francis to Paris: Et Tu Caesar

6/11/2007 2:07 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

TMZ received the following letter from "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis. He is currently incarcerated in Nevada:
Joe Francis and Paris Hilton booking photos
June 10, 2007

RE: "American I-Cons"

Dear TMZ,

I returned to my cell the other day after a leisurely walk through the Washoe County Detention Center yard and received a message from Deputy Keast, the Public Information Officer, that you had called. To be honest, I was hoping that my penpal, Candy Spelling, had written me again, but to my dismay I was told that you just wanted to know how I felt about Paris being released from jail early. I was then handed a article titled "American I-Cons". I just thought since I seem to have some extra time on my hands these days that I would like to take a moment to set the record straight.

The "American I-Cons" title is a very clever play on words, but unlike in Paris's current situation, the title does not apply to me. I am not in jail because I have been CONvicted of a crime, but am merely awaiting a chance to vindicate myself.

Paris's early release from jail did not surprise me, nor unfortunately, did her return to jail a day later. My heart goes out to Paris, not only because I consider her a friend, but because I have experienced first hand that incarceration is not set up for high-profile people. In my experience to date, when jail personnel are told to give no special treatment to an individual because of who they are, it normally results in them getting far worse treatment. I must however tell you that this has not been my experience at the Washoe County Detention Center, where my treatment has been fair and where the staff is very considerate. However, the stark reality that I've encountered in the five previous facilities I've been in is that celebrities are segregated from other inmates, and it can be quite a lonely existence with no human contact. It seems as though Paris is seeing this first hand now that she's been sent back to jail to serve her original 45 day sentence. If her name was Jane Doe and everything else in the case remained unchanged, she would never have served a day in jail. As Los Angeles County Sheriff Baca said on Friday: "The special treatment appears to be her celebrity status. She got more time in jail." I empathize with Paris, because I believe I too would not still be in jail were it not for my "high profile status."

Your story also outlined 3 other things: living conditions, food, and free time.

When you discussed my living quarters, you brought up the fact that I was in my own cell until I passed my tuberculosis test. Well, I studied hard and took a Princeton Review crash course and passed it with flying colors. I also passed my HIV test and my hepatitis test as well, so feel free to post the rest of my confidential medical history on, as you and others have done on in the past. I wouldn't want your readers to be getting any incomplete information.

My living arrangements are more than adequate. My cell is actually nicer than my USC dorm room. Yes, it doesn't have cable, but it doesn't have the cockroaches either.

When you discussed food, you mentioned that I was eating "catfood sandwiches, a mix of ground turkey mixed with mayo, and franks n' beans." Well, those two delectable dishes, among others, are offered free of charge to all inmates, but the WCDC also offers inmates the option to order from a local restaurant - "The Burger Barn." My diet actually consists of mostly chicken-Caesar salads with crisp romaine lettuce and half-dressing (my trainer would be proud) usually with a Diet Coke. If I really want to splurge, I may order a Powerbar or two for dessert.

This "free time" thing took me by surprise. I would love to know who gave you the information that I'm out of my cell 8 hours a day. It's probably more like half that. It is during this time that I have the fortunate privilege of meeting new "friends" such as car thieves, drug dealers and murderers. It should make for an interesting night at HYDE when the "gang" and I get back together for a reunion.

Feel free to post a mugshot or two (this one is by far the best). Blue is my color over bright orange for sure, but please remember one thing: In this country anyone who stands accused of a crime is innocent until proven guilty, even if they are a celebrity. I urge that there be no rush to judgment, because you may be wrong. I am still an innocent man standing accused, stuck in jail not because I've been CONvicted of a crime, but rather due to a legal quagmire. I have faced far worse things in the past and I am confident that I will prevail again.

Your friend,
Joe Francis

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Previous 15 Comments | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10


Hey, I have an idea for you "high profile people" (and what a class-act you are, too...what an example you've set for our generation, a real living legacy). Why don't we as a country make a brand new jail, just for you "high society people", complete with all the amenities, minus any cameras. You can impress each other all day long without having to bore us. Heck, by Christmas, there will be enough of you in there to keep each other company.

2692 days ago


His arrogance is incredible. Hopefully, someone will stick a shiv in his back in jail and we'll never have to hear from his pompous mouth again ...

2692 days ago


Paris slept with him. He was taping her showering naked in those leaked videos from the storage unit. They proceeded to the bed when Paris asked to shut the camera off. So I say authorities should lock them up together, so she can occupy her oral cavity with what she needs. The pedophiles unit.

2692 days ago

Baby-f***ers come as no surprise    

As the name I'm using says it all, I shall say no more.

2692 days ago

Dumb Ass Hollywood People    

I am just shocked at these bunch of retarded Hollywood People & the other dumb people that stick up for them! Joe, Paris, Gummy Bear, Lindsay, Niclole, the whole lot of 'em! Not sure what they don't get... You commit a crime, you are not imuned! Duh, duh, duh! Do they take a Stupid Pill when they get to Hollywood??? Just totally blown away at the lack of common sense! We'll say it again, "Then don't put your dumb asses in that position"!!!!

2692 days ago


I thought this letter was hilarious!

2692 days ago


Although I do not agree with what Joe and Paris do for a living, I find myself agreeing with this letter. I know jail is supposed to be the same for everyone, but its not. High profile people STILL get special treatment whether it be at a VIP night club or LA county jail. No its not fair, but I agree with Joe. Everyone who is jabbering about haha Paris must miss her VIP treatment, you're all gay...her stay in jail is probably comparible to a normal persons stay at the 4 seasons..not so bad huh??

2692 days ago

someone who knows    

You talk about how you were placed in confinement by poor pitiful self at other jails, you fail to cried for it! I believe you said "you were not like those other people in jail" . You wanted protective custody for your scared little ass! So don't try your bullcrap like you were forced!
You went to Florida and tried to treat folks like what your idea of a 'redneck' was and boy did you get a surprise! There are professionals that actually work in those jails! I am so glad you picked the wrong one and got caught! You are no different than the people that break the law everyday that come into the jail for whatever reason. Stop your whining and grow up and be man!

2611 days ago
Previous 15 Comments | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

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