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Francis to Paris: Et Tu Caesar

6/11/2007 2:07 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

TMZ received the following letter from "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis. He is currently incarcerated in Nevada:
Joe Francis and Paris Hilton booking photos
June 10, 2007

RE: "American I-Cons"

Dear TMZ,

I returned to my cell the other day after a leisurely walk through the Washoe County Detention Center yard and received a message from Deputy Keast, the Public Information Officer, that you had called. To be honest, I was hoping that my penpal, Candy Spelling, had written me again, but to my dismay I was told that you just wanted to know how I felt about Paris being released from jail early. I was then handed a article titled "American I-Cons". I just thought since I seem to have some extra time on my hands these days that I would like to take a moment to set the record straight.

The "American I-Cons" title is a very clever play on words, but unlike in Paris's current situation, the title does not apply to me. I am not in jail because I have been CONvicted of a crime, but am merely awaiting a chance to vindicate myself.

Paris's early release from jail did not surprise me, nor unfortunately, did her return to jail a day later. My heart goes out to Paris, not only because I consider her a friend, but because I have experienced first hand that incarceration is not set up for high-profile people. In my experience to date, when jail personnel are told to give no special treatment to an individual because of who they are, it normally results in them getting far worse treatment. I must however tell you that this has not been my experience at the Washoe County Detention Center, where my treatment has been fair and where the staff is very considerate. However, the stark reality that I've encountered in the five previous facilities I've been in is that celebrities are segregated from other inmates, and it can be quite a lonely existence with no human contact. It seems as though Paris is seeing this first hand now that she's been sent back to jail to serve her original 45 day sentence. If her name was Jane Doe and everything else in the case remained unchanged, she would never have served a day in jail. As Los Angeles County Sheriff Baca said on Friday: "The special treatment appears to be her celebrity status. She got more time in jail." I empathize with Paris, because I believe I too would not still be in jail were it not for my "high profile status."

Your story also outlined 3 other things: living conditions, food, and free time.

When you discussed my living quarters, you brought up the fact that I was in my own cell until I passed my tuberculosis test. Well, I studied hard and took a Princeton Review crash course and passed it with flying colors. I also passed my HIV test and my hepatitis test as well, so feel free to post the rest of my confidential medical history on, as you and others have done on in the past. I wouldn't want your readers to be getting any incomplete information.

My living arrangements are more than adequate. My cell is actually nicer than my USC dorm room. Yes, it doesn't have cable, but it doesn't have the cockroaches either.

When you discussed food, you mentioned that I was eating "catfood sandwiches, a mix of ground turkey mixed with mayo, and franks n' beans." Well, those two delectable dishes, among others, are offered free of charge to all inmates, but the WCDC also offers inmates the option to order from a local restaurant - "The Burger Barn." My diet actually consists of mostly chicken-Caesar salads with crisp romaine lettuce and half-dressing (my trainer would be proud) usually with a Diet Coke. If I really want to splurge, I may order a Powerbar or two for dessert.

This "free time" thing took me by surprise. I would love to know who gave you the information that I'm out of my cell 8 hours a day. It's probably more like half that. It is during this time that I have the fortunate privilege of meeting new "friends" such as car thieves, drug dealers and murderers. It should make for an interesting night at HYDE when the "gang" and I get back together for a reunion.

Feel free to post a mugshot or two (this one is by far the best). Blue is my color over bright orange for sure, but please remember one thing: In this country anyone who stands accused of a crime is innocent until proven guilty, even if they are a celebrity. I urge that there be no rush to judgment, because you may be wrong. I am still an innocent man standing accused, stuck in jail not because I've been CONvicted of a crime, but rather due to a legal quagmire. I have faced far worse things in the past and I am confident that I will prevail again.

Your friend,
Joe Francis

No Avatar

kim suck    


2659 days ago

When will he die?

2659 days ago


#10 - it's a little thing called SARCASM.

2659 days ago

Rosie the chauvinist    

He's apparently the a** I thought he was. Jail is giving these people too much time to talk. What happened to the chain gang? Paris and Joe should be spending this incarderated time doing something useful for society, like busting up rocks or doing some labor.

2659 days ago


Regardless of what "Nathan" is implying, all the people who are disgusted by Paris Hilton and her ilk are not uneducated, under-priveleged colored folk. There are some out there who are just plain repulsed by the behavior of this filth that is the Celebutante. To be honest with you, they are an embarrassment to females - with their assinine sayings, (That's hot!), their loose morals, their unbelievable stupidity and their overall lack of respect for anyone who doesn't have as many millions as they do. Paris' behavior on her show (Good Lord - yes, I actually watched one episode - shoot me now) was so horrendous to her hosts, that I was amazed they didn't kick her out on her ass. They put up with much more from her than she ever would have from them, that's for sure. I sincerely hope they were paid enough. Me - I wouldn't have her anywhere near me - I don't think they could afford to pay me as much as I would need to disinfect myself entirely.

2659 days ago



2659 days ago


Oh yeah, Shirley? Where was God when Paris did HER sex tape? If God hates Joe, but not Paris, then he's biased, huh?

2659 days ago

Pam The REAL Pam    

I think Paris and Joe would make a perfect couple. They are both into sex tapes and spending time in jail and crying about it. A match made in Hollyweird! When is the wedding?

When you get out Joe, leave Nevada. We don't want you here anymore than we want Paris.
You are both menaces to society.

2659 days ago


why would this moron spend the time to write a letter to TMZ. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU JOE FRANCIS besides your friends and the people that suck money off of your butt. A LARGE PORTION of the population would love to see much worse happen to you. Many of us wish we could see that video made of you by your lovely house guest. HUMILITY its a trait that I think you could learn. And if I were you I would investigate the IRS and their past convictions. They nail people to the FLOOR! Al Capone?

2659 days ago


You chose to stay in Nevada because it's Camp Cupcake compared to the ones down south and you know it!!

2659 days ago


I am suprised by all the harsh comments regarding this topic (celebrity incarceration). Remember folks, 99% of us do not personally know these two, we are going strictly by the "media" coverage on which to base our opinions. Often there are details that we are not privvy to. I guess i am in a generous mood today and feel like giving PH and JF the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps there needs to be a way for celebs/high profile personalities to be charged and sentenced with "John Doe" labels to prevent them from either claiming to be or actually being treated unfairly? I would welcome some feedback on this idea from a law student?

2659 days ago


Throw away the key on both these losers...they could rot for all I care.

2659 days ago


Your business promotes the very reason PH is in jail. Drinking, acting wild and irresponsible. Sure, PH is in jail for violating probation but initially she was booked on a DUI. And although I believe that PH is serving more time because of her celebrity maybe some good will come to her ( PH could start by not having friends like you or asking you not to comment about her).

It may not be a legal reason, but you should be locked up and the key should be thrown away for glamorizing young woman getting drunk and showing no self-respect. You may not have been able to stop them but did you really need to get rich out of their poor behavior. Sure, you may walk out of jail and continue to get rich, but who cares. At the end of your time, you will be known as the pig who shot video of young drunk woman with their tops up. Wow! You may be innocent as you say of the current charges, but you are not innocent of being a disgusting person..

2659 days ago

Rosie the chauvinist    

The judge clearly wrote on Paris's sentence order "NO EARLY RELEASE."

This was part of her sentencing and she and her lawyers agreed to it. This means that she would not get released early. Time off for good behavior is apparently not a problem, but not just go home from jail because the sheriff wants to send her. The judge means that she is to serve every day of her sentence, excluding good behavior time.

Paris knew this. Her lawyers knew this. The sheriff apparently doesn't understand the order.

Now that Paris is dropping the "stupid act," if it is an act, why doesn't she understand this? She is not eligible to be included in that group who only serves 10% of their time.

Barbara Walters should understand this.

I understand it clearly.

2659 days ago

Paris is a spoiled brat    

I'd like to smack this guy in the face.

2659 days ago
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