Deighton -- who's been married to the "Survivor" villain since 2008 -- tells TMZ ... "I work 40 hours a week at a daycare to support us, yet he would still want me to come home and cook and clean for him."
"I left because I was tired of feeling like I had two children instead of a husband and a daughter."
She adds, "I just want out of this unhealthy relationship. I have tried to work this out but he refuses to speak to me."
As TMZ first reported -- Fairplay served his wife with separation papers this week -- after she moved herself and her daughter out of the family home.