It's the kinda house 99.999% of the world will never see ... let alone OWN -- but TMZ has learned, Ellen DeGeneres and her wife Portia de Rossi just purchased this $26.5 million mansion in Santa Barbara.
The deal went through last week, and words can't do justice to how insane this house is -- it's 10,522 square feet ... located in Montecito, which has some of the most beautiful vistas in Cali. It's got 6 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms ... and it sits on 13 ACRES.
Oh yeah, it's also got NINE fireplaces ... and even the pool's got an ocean view.
And if that weren't crazy enough, it's just the latest house Ellen has added to her arsenal -- she also owns several other properties in the Los Angeles area, including homes in Beverly Hills and Hidden Valley.
Annnnnnd now we feel poor. Thanks, Ellen.