'Bar Rescue' Lawsuit -- Doctor Pays Dearly for Vagina Jab

So 2 doctors walk into a bar, buy it, they try to get on "Bar Rescue," one of them taunts the wife of the show's host, diagnosing her with a "Grade A va-gee" ... and then sue because the host beat the crap out of him.

Stop us if you've heard this one, but if not, here's the lawsuit. Dr. Paul Wilkes bought Sand Dollar bar in Las Vegas with another doctor. They weren't doing so well and made a play to get on the popular Spike TV show.

According to the lawsuit, a producer got in touch with them and said the way to get on the show was to act outlandish. As part of the audition process, producers sent host Jon Taffer's wife, Nicole, to Sand Dollar. Dr. Wilkes says he was goaded to hit on Mrs. Taffer.

Nicole ordered a Sex on the Beach at the bar, when Dr. Wilkes bellied up and dropped cheesy pickup lines, including ... "Probably my most impressive trick is just from looking at the bend of your arm. I can tell you what your vagina looks like."

The good doc went on ... "So, if you bend your arm, and go like that, that's like Grade A va-gee. If someone bends their arm and it's all like jacked up and, then, like you know they have the elephant ears, which is foul."

Jon Taffer then made HIS move ... according to the lawsuit, Taffer had been watching the filming outside and came rushing into the bar, called Dr. Wilkes a pervert and a scumbag, and then smashed the drink Wilkes was holding into his face.

Wilkes claims when his friends tried restraining Taffer he threw a haymaker at him ... which apparently was too much because Taffer began hyperventilating and fell to the floor." Dr. Wilkes says he now has migraines, nausea, vomiting night terrors and crying spells.

But there's a slight problem -- we pulled the clip from the episode Wilkes is referring to and unless the editors at "Bar Rescue" are magicians, none of it backs up his battery claims. Watch it for yourself.