Jessica Simpson

Born – July 10, 1980
Abilene, Texas, U.S.

Singer, Actress, Designer, Indian

Signed by Tommy Mottola to Columbia Records when she was 16, had her first album go double platinum, became a teen superstar without having to be on the “Mickey Mouse Club.”

Married Nick Lachey, starred in "Newlyweds, Nick and Jessica," asked if Chicken of the Sea Tuna was chicken or tuna.

Got divorced from Nich Lachey, dated John Mayer, earned the nickname "Sexual Napalm" (insert multiple explosions here).

Dated Tony Romo, was accused of cursing the Cowboys, earned the nickname "Yoko Romo."

Starred in the “Dukes of Hazzard” movie, where she very convincingly played a super hot country bumpkin in tight jean shorts.

Appeared in more movies, all of which made the “Dukes of Hazzard” movie look like “Godfather 2.” One of them co-starred Dane Cook. That pretty much says it all.

Gave birth to a daughter in 2012 after what seemed like a 47 month pregnancy. Perfect timing because she's been known to wear mom jeans and now it's totally legit.

Has been accused of being dumb, but has her own line of clothing, hair and beauty products that's projected to break a billion dollars in sales annually. Take THAT, Nobel award-winning scientists! Anyone wearing jeans with YOUR name on them?? No, didn't think so.