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Orlando Bloom

Born – January 13, 1977
Canterbury, England

Actor, fictional elf, guy who gets to bone Miranda Kerr.

Shot to fame after playing an elf in the “Lord of the Rings” movies, in which he bravely traveled to Mordor to defeat some evil trolls, or something like that. Go ask a nerd if you really wanna know what the movie’s about.

Continued his success in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies, where he played the role of “guy who’s not Johnny Depp.”

Has also made a bunch of other films, but no one cares about them because they don’t have any magical rings or pirates in them.

Married supermodel Miranda Kerr in 2010, presumably banged her at every possible opportunity, perhaps stopping briefly when she gave birth in 2011, but then starting up again immediately afterwards.

Had nearly a half-million dollars worth of stuff stolen from his home by the "Bling Ring." Let's just hope they didn't steal that ring from "Lord of the Rings," because IT'S AN EVIL RING THAT WILL TURN YOU INVISIBLE!!!! Or something like that. Again -- we're not nerds.

May be immortal, because he's somehow still alive after a ridiculous amount of horrible injuries, including breaking his left arm, cracking his skull three times, breaking his nose, breaking his right leg, breaking his left leg, breaking his wrist and breaking his back.

Fun Fact: He gets to pork Miranda Kerr whenever he wants. Did we mention that?

LATEST STORIES
  
Miranda Kerr -- Still A Chance To Save My Marriage

Miranda Kerr
So I'm Sayin' There's a Chance .... To Save My Marriage

Miranda Kerr is not willing to say her split from Orlando Bloom is forever ... which is both big and disheartening news for millions of men.Miranda sashayed through LAX looking her hot self -- a… READ MORE >

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr -- Photo Evidence of Who Dumped Who

Orlando & Miranda
Photo Evidence Of Who Dumped Who

The who-dumped-who mystery of Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr's split has been solved ... thanks to a photo of Orlando going in for a kiss with his ex.Yes, here comes some gratuitous and in-depth… READ MORE >

- 171 days ago
Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr -- Divorce is Like a Walk in the Park

Orlando and Miranda
Divorce is Like a Walk in the Park

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr put on a united front ... by reuniting ... the day after they announced their marriage was kaput.Miranda, Orlando and nearly 3-year old Flynn strolled through… READ MORE >

- 173 days ago
Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr -- Suddenly Single but Still Unattainable

Orlando & Miranda
Suddenly Single But Still Unattainable

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr -- 2 of the most gorgeous beings on Earth -- are split up, but before single guys start rejoicing ... let's have a reality check.Only 3 tiny groups of dudes have a… READ MORE >

- 174 days ago
Orlando Bloom -- 'We're not Friends ... We're Family'

Orlando Bloom
'We're Not Friends ... We're Family'

Orlando Bloom doesn't have any hard feelings about the end of his marriage to Miranda Kerr, telling TMZ they will remain a family.Our photog asked Orlando -- who is in NYC for "Romeo and… READ MORE >

- 174 days ago
Orlando Bloom & Miranda Kerr -- WE'RE GETTING DIVORCED

Orlando & Miranda
WE'RE GETTING DIVORCED

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are DONE ... the two gorgeous people have announced they're splitting up after 3 years of marriage. O & M -- who started dating back in 2007 -- released a joint… READ MORE >

- 174 days ago
Orlando Bloom -- Foot Fetish Talk Is LAUGHABLE ... But I'm Not Denying It

Orlando Bloom
Foot Fetish Talk Is Laughable! (But I'm Not Denying It)

Orlando Bloom thinks it's "funny" that his wife Miranda Kerr is telling the media he's a toenail-obsessed foot-aholic ... but he ain't exactly denying it. Orlando was hoofin' his way out of… READ MORE >

- 260 days ago
Miranda Kerr -- I Have a Girl Crush ... and She's Super HOT

Miranda Kerr
I Have A Girl Crush ... and She's Super Hot

If Miranda Kerr could ditch that lucky bastard Orlando Bloom for some sweet lady love ... the super hot supermodel tells TMZ ... there's only ONE WOMAN that could satisfy her craving.  Kerr… READ MORE >

- 317 days ago
Burglar Bunch -- Key Suspect to Get Jail for Raiding Lindsay Lohan

Burglar Bunch
Key Suspect to Get Jail for Raiding Lindsay Lohan

Suspected Burglar Bunch thief Nick Prugo has pleaded no contest to jacking expensive stuff from the homes of Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge ... and told prosecutors he's totally willing to… READ MORE >

- 776 days ago
Burglar Bunch -- Sneaking Into Your Televisions

Burglar Bunch
Sneaking Into Your Televisions

It's the one thing the Burglar Bunch hasn't stolen ... your TV time ... but that's about to change ... because a made-for-TV movie about the infamous thieves is already in production.A rep for… READ MORE >

- 1051 days ago

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