Caeleb Dressel's Swim Journals Before Olympics, 'F*** Me, F***ing Terrible'

Team USA swimming superstar, Caeleb Dressel, was truly down on himself just months before winning 5 gold medals at the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo ... revealing the severely harsh criticism he wrote in his practice journals prior to trials.

The 25-year-old Olympic hero opened up about the dark side of his swimming experience on "In Depth With Graham Bensinger" this week ... listing off the negative reactions to workouts he wrote in his notebooks before trials.

"Yeah, F*** me, f***ing terrible. My body is done,'" Caeleb read from his log during the interview. "Oh jeez ... I know I'm laughing a little bit, but when you're writing this, this isn't as a joke. This is good information."

"'F*** me. F*** my body. F*** swimming,'" he continued. "Jeez. Yeah, there's a totally different side of the sport that a lot of people don't see ... I try to be as honest with myself as I can in these books, 'cause these aren't for -- well until now -- these aren't really for anybody else's eyes."

As it turns out, Caeleb has battled panic attacks and depression as a result of his swimming career ... including when he first became prominently known as one of the best in the country during his senior year of high school.

"I didn't want to do anything," Caeleb said. "Wasn't going to school, wasn't swimming. [I] was pretty much just laying in bed for all hours of the day, for a couple months."

Dressel went on to compete in two Olympic games -- racking up 7 golds.