Pets

Proving that little pups aren't the only ones who don't like to be schlepped around town in a handbag, Hilary Swank carried her not-so tiny Jack Russell/Corgi mix, Karoo, in a canvas tote.

Oh, the humanity! *arf*

But it was all too real when hotel staff saw that one of the sharks from the famous resort aquarium had somehow jumped out of its tank and onto a nearby water slide -- where it managed to slide down into the pool.

It all went down before the pool opened Tuesday -- so nobody was in the water -- but here's where it gets tragic: A rep for the Atlantis tells TMZ the shark died a short time after swimming in the chlorinated water. Here's the heartbreaking statement:

"Yesterday morning at around 9:30 AM, prior to the resort's waterscape opening to guests, a 12+-year-old female reef shark jumped over an 18 inch wide and 1 foot high sustaining structure into the resort's Leap of Faith water slide.

The Atlantis Aquarists believe the shark was startled by an unusual circumstance that we have no way of defining completely. In the over ten years guests have experienced the Leap of Faith, the reef shark itself, harmless to humans as it is fed regularly by our staff, had shown no previous incidences of leaping out of the water in the marine habitat ...

FYI -- the slide goes through the shark area (the open air slide becomes an enclosed tube) and lets out in a small pool down below.

The female reef shark somehow cleared the 18-inch wide and 1-foot high barrier around the bottom of the Mayan Temple's Leap of Faith slide -- then slid down the rest of the slide and into an empty pool. It died from complications from the pool's chlorinated water.

Now the only thing the 41-year-old mother of three needs to curb are those 2003 Ugg boots!

In the future, machines will be able to pick our noses for us.

Until that day, humans like Robert Patrick will have to dig for gold all on their own.

Mimi Rogers, you have been warned.

The Cadillac Escalade was found stripped of its expensive seats and its instrument panel after it was stolen from a shopping mall in the Valley.

If you know where the puppies are -- or have any information that could lead to the whereabouts of the sick, sick bastard who took the adorable little doggies, please call (310) 248-6118.

A ten-week-old Yorkie named Paisley and a ten-week-old Yorkiepoo named Marley -- future Christmas gifts for his children -- were hangin' in John Schneider's Cadillac Escalade Saturday night when some scum-bucket jacked the ride from the parking lot at the Sherman Oaks Fashion Square mall.

Who wants to see Angelina ride bareback?!

Adorned with what may or may not be real fur, Lindz (with the help of security) made her way through LAX on Wednesday. Afterward she did not have to be de-floured.

This two-headed kitten was born in Perth, Australia and is reportedly doing well.

No word if the kitty has 18 lives.

A brief story about each pup's life will be on the back of their individual labels and 10% of the vino's proceeds will go to the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary -- where they all hang their collars -- in southern Utah.

Meanwhile, somewhere in prison, Michael Vick is stuck with his cellmate's famous brand of toilet wine.