TMZ TV

Wayne Gretzky's unbelievably beautiful daughter Paulina nearly bit the dust when her sweater caught fire at a bar -- which means we almost lost the hottest celebrity spawn on planet Earth.

Or the second hottest ... according to one of our mental staffers.

"Django Unchained," "12 Years a Slave" and the "Roots" remake all prove Hollywood just loves some slavery right now, which is ...

Well, not exactly sure how we're supposed to feel about that yet.

Motivational speaker Tony Robbins can get you laid -- whether he knows it or not -- because we have inside information about what really goes on at his seminars.

Sign up, people ... if you're lonely.

Michael Keaton dropped a truth bomb on us -- that "Beetlejuice 2" is a go, but our Beetle-obsessed staffers have a few concerns about it already which involve ... Katy Perry?

"Thor" star Jaimie Alexander blew everyone's mind by wearing a dress that barely covered her lady parts to the premiere ... a move we applaud.

Particularly for its attention to side-boobage!

Kendall Jenner's 18th birthday triggered an onslaught of offers by porn companies for her to follow in her big sis Kim Kardashian's sex tape footsteps.

That's the good news. The bad news -- her family's reaction.

Justin Bieber's water bottle to the face down in Brazil seemed like a random act of violence, but there's another possibility.

Something far more, uh ... creepy.

If The Weather Channel's Jim Cantore has to get blasted by hurricanes -- and you know he's always standing in the middle of 'em -- the storms should at least have cool names!

Well, that's what we think. Jim probably doesn't give 2 craps.

Miley Cyrus' porn themed jack o'lanterns are super freaky -- which means we can all agree her Halloween melons are both tricks AND treats!

If you're the FCC ... you probably won't agree.

Chris Brown's attorney Mark Geragos was totally open to talking right after he dropped Chris at a rehab facility -- but the hot topic on his mind was fish ... and yes, we took the bait.

Too soon to apologize for that pun?

LeBron James missed a huge opportunity -- when he mistakenly promoted his new line of shoes by covering a Lamborghini in the same design as his kicks.

Why? Because he should have made a SHOE car ... according to some crazy people.

Conrad Murray is a real glutton for punishment -- because just moments after leaving jail ... he choked down a gut-busting double-double hamburger from In-N-Out.

Guess he's okay with solitary, after all ... on a toilet.

The who-dumped-who mystery of Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr's split has been solved ... thanks to a photo of Orlando going in for a kiss with his ex.

Yes, here comes some gratuitous and in-depth over-analysis of a peck-gone-wrong!

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr -- 2 of the most gorgeous beings on Earth -- are split up, but before single guys start rejoicing ... let's have a reality check.

Only 3 tiny groups of dudes have a shot with MK -- and you're probably not one of 'em.

Elin Nordegren is putting the finishing touches on her Florida mega-mansion -- and it would never have been possible if Tiger's wang wasn't touching all those skanks back in the day.

See, they were good for something after all.

Rihanna's sexy vacation pics sent our minds off to the magical Land of Hypotheticals -- where you can ponder just how much danger you'd expose yourself to ... in order to get with RiRi.

Of course we'd never have a shot in hell of being near her -- so this game's all we got.