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Johnny to Victor

There Will Be No Mutual Masturbation

From Here on Out!

4/15/2014 12:45 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
EXCLUSIVE

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Johnny Weir wrote a 5-page post-nup which is part of his newfangled reconciliation package with Victor Voronov -- and Johnny makes it clear mutual masturbation will NOT be tolerated.

TMZ broke the story ... Johnny and Victor agreed over the weekend to call off their divorce, but Victor wanted Johnny to sign a document apologizing for trashing Victor in the media and promising to keep Johnny's mom out of their relationship.

So Johnny fired back with a document of his own, which, among other things, defines the type of cheating that will not be tolerated.  The document -- obtained by TMZ -- lists the following:

-- sex outside the marriage
-- oral sex outside the marriage
-- kissing or making out
-- sexting
-- aggressive flirting
-- mutual masturbation
-- social media/grindr/dating

And it gets better.  According to the document, if either one has a situation where they're "in close range or contact with someone from our past or someone to be part of the future" ... the other can veto the contact.  Johnny specifically gives an example of a figure skater he dated.

The document also requires joint STD tests every 6 months with the results being read with both in the room.

And there's a section about splitting assets if they ultimately get divorced:  "Should a gift be given, i.e., the Cartier Roadster (R.I.P.), the gift belongs to you."  Someone broke the watch!

And finally ... there's a section titled "Ultimatums."   Johnny lists examples of Victor's ultimatums, including, "If I give you one more day to get your bank records to me, then I want to have a free f*** of anyone I want."

Simply fabulous.

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214 COMMENTS

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1.

Rigby    

Lol! It keeps on getting more juicer. Yay Drama!

128 days ago
2.

Typo    

No mention of the fact that Johnny has already said there will be NO reconciliation? I agree though, this list is fabulous!

128 days ago
3.

Typo    

And "obtained by TMZ" pretty much means "leaked by Victor", does it not?

128 days ago
4.

choke    

Tmz, this is getting beyond sad! It's time to find new material!

128 days ago
5.

Casey    

If their the only news worthy problem.going on in the world today world we are going good! If you want to go to bed with nothing on.your Stomach

128 days ago
6.

Casey    

If you want to go to bed with nothing on your stomach and nothing on.your mind eat rice for dinner and read TMZ POST!

128 days ago
7.

billson1234    

What the **** am I reading? No why am I reading this

128 days ago
8.

browneyes!!     

Let all the gays get married.... :)

128 days ago
9.

Waka Waka Waka    

NOBODY GIVES A FCK.... SERIOUSLY NO ONE CARES

128 days ago
10.

notalawyer    

You don't have to be a Kardashian to be an attention whore...

128 days ago
11.

Larvey Heaven    

Gayz are a wacky bunch

128 days ago
12.

shakedoggy    

are u referring to the jack lalane juicer? delicious drinks.

128 days ago
13.

Zombie Whitney Houston    

I just threw up a little

128 days ago
14.

Claude     

Gays are gross

128 days ago
15.

NOT ELMO    

I HEAR THEY ARE BOTH BOTTOMS.....

128 days ago
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

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