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Shaq's Sitcom 'CRACK VS. SHAQ' Racy Jokes In Pilot Script

EXCLUSIVE
0123-shaq-oneal-tmz-01TMZ Sports just got our hands on a script for the pilot episode of Shaq's new sitcom -- and it's laced with hilarious adult-oriented humor ... including jokes about boobs, ISIS and crack. 

The show is loosely based on Shaq's real-life business empire -- with people pitching him TV show ideas, products and endorsements.

In one of the scenes from a script that was circulating in December, Shaq is approached with an idea for a TV show similar to "Shaq Vs." ... a real show that didn't do very well on the air. 

In the script, an associate explained to Shaq that no one knew what Shaq was "verse" -- and suggested that his new version of the show should include Shaq's foe in the title. 

"We could do 'Crack Versus Shaq.' That rhymes. [Shaq] smokes a bowl of crack and tries to dunk."

Another associate suggests, "Shaq Versus Iraq" ... where "[Shaq] goes over there and talks to those ISIS people. We bring in a few basketballs and boom! Peace in the Middle East."

Someone else pitches, "Yak Versus Shaq" ... which evidently involves the mountainous animal. 

The script we read -- which was circulating in December -- is actually pretty funny ... with boob jokes, fart jokes and even a Tim Tebow zinger.   

It's possible, and likely, that the script will be changed by the time it actually airs -- but we can see why Shaq signed on. For more sports stories, check out tmzsports.com!
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