Hayden Panettiere's Ex Says Her New Memoir Could Help Reform Abusers

Hayden Panettiere's ex Brian Hickerson says reading about his abusive relationship in her upcoming memoir was brutal ... but he also thinks alleged abusers need to hear stories like his the most.

Hickerson spoke with TMZ's Charlie Neff ahead of the release of Hayden's memoir, "This Is Me: A Reckoning" ... and admitted there was one particularly dark moment from their relationship he requested her to leave out of the book -- but it made the final cut anyway.

According to Brian, the passage details a drunken incident where he allegedly threatened to throw a phone at Hayden. He recalled telling her, "I'll give you 10 seconds to run as fast as you can before I throw it at you."

Brian admitted to Charlie, "Who wants to read something about themselves like that?" ... before adding, "I did it. I did it."

The ex-couple dated on and off from 2018 to 2022 ... and their relationship exploded into public legal drama ... with Brian arrested multiple times over alleged domestic violence incidents involving Hayden. He pleaded no contest to felony charges, was sentenced to jail time and probation, and was hit with a five-year restraining order requiring him to stay away from her.

Brian also pushed the conversation beyond survivors ... saying people accused of abuse should also be forced to confront these stories head-on. He believes domestic violence education comes too late in life ... adding he was never taught what abuse actually looked like growing up.

And in a striking moment of self-awareness, Hickerson suggested Hayden's memoir could end up serving as a warning manual for the very kind of person he became ... proof that sometimes, it really does take one to know one.