Borat

Borat's on the hunt for America's favorite blonde lifeguard -- Pam Anderson.

In his new movie, the journalist from Kazakhstan, played by comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, comes to America to learn about the country, eventually crossing the states in hopes of wedding the Playboy pin-up.

Though men here focus on Pam's chest, the traits that caught Borat's eye were a bit different -- "Her teeth all grew on the inside of her mouth. She had more hair on her head than on her back and she did not look strong enough to pull a plow."

Not only are the women in his country unattractive according to Borat, prostitution is common too. "There is, of course, regional and national competition for prostitutes. and now the competition is increased because of the popularity of television program, '
Kazakhstan's Next Top Prostitute.'"

While it's easy to see why Cohen's statements in the Borat character have been causing controversy with Kazakhstan, we're guessing more will laugh than be offended when "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" opens next week.

Ever since Borat first began telling the world about his beautiful home country of Kazakhstan (a urine-drinking, jew-hating, inbred society), officials from the Kazakh tourism department have been pulling their hair out in frustration. They've already managed to shut down Borat's website, convinced most Kazakh movie theaters to ban the upcoming film and spent a ton of money in a desperate image-saving publicity campaign.

Now, after skewering the bumbling reporter in the media, the good folks from Kazakhstan are inviting Borat, aka Sacha Baron Cohen, to visit the country as an invited guest. Deputy foreign minister Rakhat Aliyev told a local Kazakhstan news agency that Borat could learn that "women drive cars, wine is made of grapes and jews are free to go to synagogues." While he doesn't agree with Borat's criticism of Kazakhstan, he believes that his fellow countrymen, "must have a sense of humor and respect the creative freedom of others."

This all sounds good, but maybe Borat should invest in a few large bodyguards before his official visit. Just in case.

While stopping in Amsterdam on his world tour to promote his new film, "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan," the bumbling reporter bragged about recently picking up a hot date at a local gay bar, telling Dutch press, "This woman reminded me of Kazakhi woman; she was more tall than me, with hair on arms, and some hair on face and deep voice."

Borat immersed himself in the local culture as well, sporting a lovely frilly white hat, cheese wheel and the Dutch flag for a photo op. Afterwards, he donned his now infamous green bathing suit while posing with local prostitutes in the Red Light district.

When a press conference starts with the words, "Good afternoon gentlemen and prostitutes. How much? I have dollars," it's sure to be a good time.

Sacha Baron Cohen, in full Borat character, held a press conference in Paris today to promote his new film "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan," where he took shots at Uzbekistan, President Bush and American women in general.

Having just toured America, the fictional TV reporter told the press, "We in Kazakhstan admire very much Premier Bush. He is very wise man but not only this, he is very strong," said Borat adding, "Although perhaps not as strong as his father, Barbara. Tough guy. Like John Waynes."

Borat -- the faux-TV-reporter from Kazakhstan and alter-ego of comedian Sacha Baron Cohen -- went all the way to the gates of the White House yesterday to invite, as he put it, "Mighty Warlord Premier Bush" to a screening of his upcoming movie, "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan."

The bushy-moustachioed Borat was turned away by Secret Service agents as he tried to hand a paper invitation through the White House gates to a security guard -- without an appointment. Earlier, Borat, to the giggles of the press, "blasted" the "mythmaking "of the rival Uzbek government and their assertions that Kazakhs "do not drink fermented horse urine, give death penalty for baking bagels, or export over 300 tonnes of human pubis per year." (Kazakhs don't, of course, do any of these things, as far as we can discern.)

If Bush does end up accepting Borat's invitation, he'll be in some seriously glorious company -- Borat said that he invited other "American dignitaries" like O.J. Simpson and "Mel Gibsons." Meanwhile, President Bush is meeting with Kazakh president Nursultan Nazarbayev today.

The special four-page insert entitled "Kazakhstan in the 21st Century" features a photo of the country's president Nursultan Nazarbayev on its front page shaking hands with President George W. Bush -- good timing, considering that Nazarbayev is scheduled to be at the White House this coming Friday. And the thirteen articles contained within propagandize broadly over such topics as "Transforming the mixed blessing of a nuclear legacy" and "Petroleum players seek their fortune in the City of London" (that's what it says, folks).The ad likely cost somewhere around $300,000 - $400,000 to run; Kazakhstan's per capita income was approximately $7,500, according to 2004 estimates.

But there's at least one piece that Borat might appreciate : "Combining business with pleasure in cosmopolitan Kazakhstan."

Borat has touched down in Los Angeles and he's checking out everything America has to offer -- especially the women.

Borat, the character made famous by British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, had a photo shoot in Hollywood yesterday and was snapped taking some pictures up a woman's dress at the Chinese Theater.

Cohen's new film, "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" (yes, that's the real title), is slated for a November release and is already garnering negative attention from the Eurasian nation over its portrayal in the film. While stunts like these probably won't help the situation much, we're hoping Cohen shows up as Borat in public more often.

Comedian Sacha Baron Cohen was already in hot water with members of the international community over his controversial (and extremely hilarious) Borat character, and now President George Bush himself is going to weigh in.

The government of Kazakhstan became infuriated with Cohen over his portrayal of Borat, a bumbling Kazakh TV reporter, at the 2005 MTV Europe Music Awards in Lisbon. The upcoming movie, based on Borat's adventures in the US, has surely reopened the wound.

In the opening scene, Borat reportedly kisses goodbye to his sister (who he touts as one of the top prostitutes in all of Kazakhstan by the way) and sets off for America in a car pulled by a horse. The movie was hailed as a comedic gem when it debuted last week at the Toronto International Film Festival.