TMZ TV

Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise's minor fender bender looked harmless -- unless your keen eye recognized it was a failed hit by Katie's new enemies! Okay, maybe not. Actually ... definitely not.

"Dark Knight Rises" star Morgan Freeman is the greatest actor on planet -- is what someone in the newsroom thinks ... but there's one major flaw that could keep him from claiming the title.

Eva Longoria fooled us -- we thought her beach trip was an excuse to show off her perfect, barely-covered behind, but she was really just promoting a new ... oh, it doesn't matter ... just roll the video!

You haven't seen Comic-Con -- until you see it the way TMZ's resident nerd (we mean that affectionately) sees it. Dude even got his own theme song! Eat your heart out, other nerds.

David Beckham just can't resist a busload full of screaming fans -- at least not when they're on the TMZ tour bus! Who says Americans don't love soccer (stars)?

Seba Johnson is our greatest African-American Olympic downhill skier -- and our only one. Nevertheless, we're feeling the Olympic spirit just in time for the London Games ... and we've even got a theme song. America!!!

20-yr-old Kate Upton looked like she was chugging beer at a baseball game -- but she's denying it. So, let's investigate the matter by rolling video of Kate getting hosed down in a bikini! Couldn't hurt, right?

Biz Markie is not only a hip-hop legend ... he's now a children's television superstar on "Yo Gabba Gabba!" -- and we got Biz to break down his kiddie beat box skills.

Australian model Kasia Zachwieja is THE next hottest thing -- according to one TMZ staffer, anyway. But once you see her liberal bra policy, and hear her talk ... we're betting you'll agree.

"Iron Chef" Cat Cora's love of cooking, booze, and women ... would make her the perfect woman -- but unfortunately she's also a DUI suspect and nerd hater. Damn, so close!

No shocker that bikini-clad Scarlett Johansson had a guy right by her side -- moth to a flame, dude -- but is he a bodyguard, a boyfriend ... or just damn lucky? We're going with C.

Lindsey Vonn's gold medal assets prove she's totally qualified to pick the best butts in sports -- as opposed to a certain TMZ honcho ... who's struggling with that same list.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Josh Freeman is hiding one handsome mug under his helmet -- so we asked him if good looking QBs get a pass in the talent department? We're looking at you, USC alums!

Attention 911 operators, Justin Bieber drives a chromed-out Fisker Karma that can be seen from outer space -- a fact he's happy to spell out for you ... while speeding and weaving through traffic!

Kris Humphries is going to be a daddy -- at least that's what his ex-girlfriend says. Now if someone can just explain the birds and the bees to Kris ... he might be able to react to the news.

Olympic gold medalist Michael Johnson thinks African-Americans are more athletic thanks to slavery -- an explosive issue best handled by qualified professionals ... or us. Buckle up!