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Johnny to Victor

There Will Be No Mutual Masturbation

From Here on Out!

4/15/2014 12:45 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
EXCLUSIVE

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Johnny Weir wrote a 5-page post-nup which is part of his newfangled reconciliation package with Victor Voronov -- and Johnny makes it clear mutual masturbation will NOT be tolerated.

TMZ broke the story ... Johnny and Victor agreed over the weekend to call off their divorce, but Victor wanted Johnny to sign a document apologizing for trashing Victor in the media and promising to keep Johnny's mom out of their relationship.

So Johnny fired back with a document of his own, which, among other things, defines the type of cheating that will not be tolerated.  The document -- obtained by TMZ -- lists the following:

-- sex outside the marriage
-- oral sex outside the marriage
-- kissing or making out
-- sexting
-- aggressive flirting
-- mutual masturbation
-- social media/grindr/dating

And it gets better.  According to the document, if either one has a situation where they're "in close range or contact with someone from our past or someone to be part of the future" ... the other can veto the contact.  Johnny specifically gives an example of a figure skater he dated.

The document also requires joint STD tests every 6 months with the results being read with both in the room.

And there's a section about splitting assets if they ultimately get divorced:  "Should a gift be given, i.e., the Cartier Roadster (R.I.P.), the gift belongs to you."  Someone broke the watch!

And finally ... there's a section titled "Ultimatums."   Johnny lists examples of Victor's ultimatums, including, "If I give you one more day to get your bank records to me, then I want to have a free f*** of anyone I want."

Simply fabulous.

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215 COMMENTS

No Avatar
61.

Jah36    

You people are SICK! Get help!!

170 days ago
62.

Kifferslady    

Johnny boy is insane. His "husband/wife" is even more so for putting up with this $h!t.

170 days ago
63.

Cj    

These people are disgusting. Get some class.

170 days ago
64.

taz    

Wow, that is one unhealthy relationship.

170 days ago
65.

Pennyjude    

Support gay marriage! Because everyone deserves to be in a fu(ked up relationship!

170 days ago
66.

Don    

Johnny Weir(d)- you forgot one thing
What about "fudge packing"?

170 days ago
67.

Don    

Those two Loons should sign that do***ent immediately including all those mutual demands!
Hilarious in a sad way.

This dysfunction deserves to run its course and watching the meltdown will be as MasterCard say "Priceless"

These rookies in marriage, a straight term by the way stolen by Gay's, get your own word, have no clue what ultimatums do; Especially using mayhem to resolve

Good luck boys! Stay up on the 6 month STD testings. and remember no oral sex outside of "whatever you call it"

170 days ago
68.

Don    

Hey TMZ check your word engine
You've ** Doc *** ument

170 days ago
69.

abby    

Sounds like a loving couple.

170 days ago
70.

knuckle dragger    

OMG these two idiots have kicked g*y rights back a few centuries. I hope people relize these two butt monkeys are not the norm. I just threw up alittle in my mouth excuse me.SMH

170 days ago
71.

mousetrap    

Hahahaaa! Are all you people actually falling for this act?? Hahaaaa! Reread all of your "serious" posts. In my opinion, this is nothing but an elaborate publicity stunt. Reality show coming up.

170 days ago
72.

tommyr    

Jesus H. Christ on a riding lawn mower. Disgusting.

170 days ago
73.

chefadam    

Barf

170 days ago
74.

Sally M    

Oh yeah, this relationship is going to last...!

170 days ago
75.

Kaveman    

I cannot BELIEVE that my first hearty laugh of the day was from reading about two gay nutz squabbling about outrageous things on TMZ. Not that you could even pay me to watch, but these two clowns should do a reality show.

170 days ago
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