TMZ Shouldn't Get this Close
In yet another lapse of security, the Secret Service allowed our camera guy to get thiiiiiiiis close to Barack Obama.
First it was John McCain, then Hillary Clinton. It shouldn't be this easy, right?
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Obama and McCain Don't Alma Matter Anymore
Any high school would be elated to have an alumni running for president -- but the alumni news sections of Obama and McCain's respected high school web sites have no mention their former student's little election square-off today.
But here are few tidbits you can find on their HS websites:
Barack Obama graduated in '79 from Punahou School, where he was on the "Varsity A Basketball" state championship team during his senior year and was nicknamed "Barry."
John McCain was in the class of '54 at Episcopal High School, where he held the "EHS wrestling record for the 'Fastest Pin' for nearly two years" and was nicknamed "Punk."
Obama to Celebs -- Barack Off!
Everyone and their mutha wants to be part of the Barack Obama rally tonight –- including Jay-Z, Mary J. Blige, Diddy, and Ben Affleck.
But Obama wants this night to be all about him -- as it should -- so he's asking his celeb backers to stay away, reports the Chicago Sun-Times. "There really only needs to be one star in Grant Park," says a source, "and that's Barack." They want the celebs to focus on the inauguration in January -- if that's tonight's outcome, of course.
Naturally, Oprah Winfrey will be there tonight. Not even Obama tells O to go away.
Obama's Grandmother Passes Away
Frasier -- Obama Got Your Tongue?
Give a Democrat a chance to talk politics and you can't get 'em to shut up, but grab a notorious Republican like Kelsey Grammer and well, not so much.
Dude was suspiciously silent about the election at LAX yesterday -- but he was headed to Florida, a major swing state. We doubt it's a coincidence. He was stumping for McCain later that night at a rally in Coral Gables.
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Obama Scalpers Hunt for Their Cut
The Obama campaign has dished out all 70,000 tickets to the massive election night rally in Chicago's Grant Park tomorrow, which in turn has bred a whole new type of businessperson -- the election rally ticket scalper.
The tickets were personalized by the DNC to keep such scalping from happening -- but now some clever people are literally hawking their +1 status on eBay for nearly 400 bones by making you meet them at the venue to get in.
Capitalism at its finest.
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"SNL": Not-So Live from New York
Tonight's "SNL" Presidential special will be as live as an Ashlee Simpson musical performance.
Sources tell TMZ the special was pre-taped and will include Sarah Palin and John McCain, as well as Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton in the opening monologue. If you hoped to see Barack Obama on the show, you'll have to settle for a Fred Armisen impersonation. We're told the real BO won't be making an appearance.
The two-hour special will also include repeats of previously aired political sketches --- because Tina Fey as Sarah Palin NEVER gets old!
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White House or Penthouse for Palin
Hillary Clinton was squarely presented with two choices last night in D.C. -- Sarah Palin as Vice President, or Sarah all spread out in Penthouse. Yeah, we think it's inappropriate too and we've already spoken to our photog.
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John McCain -- Quality, Value, Convenience
Turns out John McCain may be the real "celebrity" in the race -- because Johnny boy looked more comfortable on stage at Studio 8H last night than he did during the debates.
In the "SNL" skit, McCain and Tina Fey-Palin made it clear: money has been hard to come by for the GOP, forcing them to target QVC as the affordable option to the Obama network blitz.
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The French Disconnection
The real Sarah Fey-Palin was caught like a moose in the headlights yesterday by two Canadian comedians -- who duped her into thinking she was talking to French President Nicolas Sarkozy.
Ms. Alaska was clueless on Montreal radio station CKOI, as the fake Sarkozy awkwardly talked about his sex life with his wife and his love for the XXX-rated "Nailin' Paylin."
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Barack, Meet Britney. Britney, Meet Barack
Another cheap Obama Halloween costume -- someone in Chicago thinks they're original. How Midwest.
Hold the phone. It really is Barack Obama, trying to trick or treat in anonymity with one of his daughters. Of course photographers from the "respectable media" backed off when Obama said they got the shot so please let them roam in peace. These guys aren't paparazzi, after all.
Of course, they did not back off.
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Sarah Palin: A Thriller A Minute
Sarah Palin was at a rally in York, PA yesterday, and may have given the Dems a future campaign ad. The lady Maverick walked out to MJ's "Thriller" right as the lyrics say, "It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark."
Let's hope she's not referring to her running mate.
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Obama Needs to Have More "Sex"
If SJP really wanted to help recruit voters for the Obama campaign, she shouldn't have told callers it was "Sarah Jessica" on the phone -- she should have said "Hi, it's Carrie Bradshaw."
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B-Faced Carver Chick Cuts a Deal
Ashley Todd, the delusional McCain volunteer who falsely claimed she was attacked and carved up by an Obama supporter in Pittsburgh has agreed to enter a probation program.
The 20-year-old college Republican must undergo psychological counseling and remain out of trouble if she wants the despicable incident removed from her record. If she doesn't abide by the terms, Todd could face a two-year stint in jail.
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What, McCain Couldn't Get Balki?
Nothing like getting a perfect stranger to pitch for you in the last inning of the election.
A TMZ staffer got a robocall late the other night from a Mark Linn Baker -- or, as he put it himself on the phone, "You may remember me from 'Perfect Strangers."
McCain's people were curiously unaware of Cousin Larry's involvement, and Baker didn't have any comment. Actually, we just couldn't find him.
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Rachael Ray Serving Up Secret Political Agenda?!
It looked like an innocent election night cooking guide in the newest Rachael Ray cooking magazine ... but in between the delicious "Bipartisan Salad" and the "Campaign Trail Mix" lies a devious, grassy knoll-like plot that could decide the presidency.
The proof is in the pages of the November edition of Everyday w/ Rachael Ray magazine -- in a political party food photo spread that was supposed to be impartial -- but it's not -- and we can prove it!!!
1) The first page of the spread contains two buttons -- the text on the Obama pin is perfectly readable, on the McCain button, John's name is cut off!
2) There are two cups bearing political stickers on the second page of the spread -- the Obama sticker is clearly readable, complete with a link to his website; the McCain cup is turned, so only the letters "McCa" are legible PLUS his website is blurred out of focus.
3) There are two more buttons on page three of the spread! They are both partially cut out of frame ...BUT the Obama pin is clearly identifiable; the way the light hits the McCain button, it's impossible to read.
Coincidence?!!?!?!?!?!!? WE THINK NOT!!!