Chef Mario Not Molto Mobile
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As a chef, Mario Batali is known for restaurants like Babbo and Mozza and his prodigious talent, energy, brio -- and belly. As a quarterback, Mario is known ... well, mainly for his belly.
The Croc-clad culinary cad was out -- if not so about -- in New York's West Village, tossing around a football with some local kids, whose relative size made Mario look like the Jolly Tangerine-Dusty Rose Giant. With his paunch playing offensive line, Batali did his best to engage the youngsters -- as long as the ball was thrown right to him.
Hoodied Crusader Cruises for Bathroom Sex?
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Holy pseudo-gay Senator, Batman! The law has found an unlikely new ally to help ferret out the wide-sitting, right wing, stall-sex searchers of the world -- the Hoodied Crusader! It's none other than wah-pedalling weirdo, John Mayer.
TMZ cameras caught Mayer emerging from his BatSUV with his BatAxe slung across his back at New York's JFK airport. When asked if he was flying off to work his day job, John told us, "Nah, just going for some bathroom sex."
Looks as though Mayer's fleet fingers might see more action than just the fretboard.
Olly Girls Making Friends All Over
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They're perky, blonde and very, very tan, but the Olly Girls won't be winning any popularity contests outside L.A. nightclubs anytime soon.
TMZ caught the reality-TV stars outside Vice Thursday night, where a guy in their entourage got into a fight with another clubgoer who called him a "f**king f*g." The Ollies got into the screaming match, with one of them (it's hard to tell them apart) flipping the guy the bird as they drove off. This is real class, folks.
Also, outside of Hyde last night, two random girls started going off on the Ollies -- who were nowhere in sight. Calling them "dirty ass whores," after hitting on our hot cameraman, Schliz.
Yes, that's his name. Schliz.
Nicole Clone Protects Duff Sisters
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Hilary and Haylie hobnobbed at Les Deux last night, armed with a mouthy mate who had an eerie resemblance to Nicole Richie.
Nicole's fiery clone barked at the swarm of photogs, constantly cursing as she helped the Duff girls and five friends clown-stuff themselves into an automobile.
Evil Nicole was in full-on freak-out mode, as she flipped off the cameras saying, "They can't publish any of this."
Please enjoy our "Flipped Off" gallery below.
Hayden in Underpants ... Section
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Barely legal "Heroes" hottie Hayden Panettiere was in Beverly Hills yesterday, tempting every photog in town with a shot of her buying some undergarments. First it was the milk, now it's the panties. Why must she torment us so?
The charming cheerleader searched for her special threads as photogs snapped away -- making sure they had evidence of the first and last time most people will ever see those undies.
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Tara Reid: Wreck Repair in Barclay Square!
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"My Boss' Daughter" actress Tara Reid was in jolly ol' London on Thursday, and was swallowed by a swarm of hungry photogs. No, really! Tara. Tara Reid.
Back on track train wreck Tara was lookin' mighty good as she left the Crystal Club, smiling and waving to photogs as she lusciously slid into a limo. A few onlookers recognized her from "American Pie," and promptly freaked out!
Apparently, it's still 1999 in England.
What Makes James Woods Cry?
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The legendarily gifted actor/director James Woods, 60, and his former flame, 21-year-old Ashley Madison, were munching a morning meal at Swingers Diner in L.A. when the two had a "moment."
The self-proclaimed "movie saps" were chatting about one of their favorite flicks, when Ashley got gushy. She defended herself by saying, "he was crying about a movie he wants to direct ... he was crying while I was crying."
The good-spirited twosome snickered about their sniffles, and wished TMZers good luck.
Paris Hilton Makes Girl's Day
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Paris Hilton loves children and clearly has a soft spot for adorability. (Add syrup here.) As the magnanimous heiress was Mr. Chow-ing down some dinner, an adorable, braces-filled fan was outside, hungry for a photo with everyone's favorite international humanitarian/socialite.
The surrounding photogs helped muster the tween's gumption, and she grabbed her dad's cell phone/camera and went inside. She emerged moments later with the money shot, saying Paris was "really sweet" and "really pretty." Just like her.
Paris Hilton, making everyone's day just a little brighter, one fan at a time. *sniff*
Joe Simpson: In DUH Club
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Pimp daddy Joe Simpson partied like a mock star at LAX in Vegas on Thursday.
While sipping on a drink, the 49-year-old former Baptist minister revealed his stellar dance moves, by doing the white man hustle. Lawd, have mercy on us!
Nice to see Papa Joe taking some time out from managing his daughters' careers -- into the ground!
Tom Arnold's on the Prowl
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Former "Best Damn Sports Show Period" host Tom Arnold went for a bite at Mr Chow last night, and was frighteningly open about how often he has sex -- TMI for TMZ
Roseanne's ex yapped about how he doesn't do it anymore cuz he's married, but was optimistic about his chances inside the swanky restaurant. "I'm hoping to have sex in here," he mused. Happy endings for all! Except us.
Reese Upside Down without Jake?
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Amid rumors that her alleged romance with Jake Gyllenhaal is on the fritz, Reese Witherspoon was spotted in a Santa Monica park going heels over head for a tree. Walk the trunk!
Reese flipped while doing her aerobics with a trainer. Who will she flip for next?
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Big Boi -- Out in Smoke
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Outkast's quick-spittin' MC, Big Boi, was cast out in New York last night, and TMZ cameras caught up with him while he was waiting on his ride. Ticket for one to Stankonia!
When his getaway finally arrived, Big Boi asks, "Is he gonna tell me I can't smoke in the car? It's not crack, this is a regular cigar!" Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
Life Lessons from Nick Cannon
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"Drumline" actor Nick Cannon had dinner at Mr. Chow last night, and when asked about the MTV VMAs, Nick said he didn't attend because, he "had too much Vegas." At least someone knows when to quit.
Slick Nick then hopped into the rear-facing back seat of his waiting SUV -- another lesson for young celebs: get a sick ride, and a driver! Whatever it takes!
Talking Something with Corey Haim
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If you thought trying to read the ramblings of Courtney Love was tough, try listening to the verbal diarrhea spewed by reality star Corey Haim. They're a match in grammar heaven!
Haim was outside of Cipriani's last night in New York, when he encountered a cameraman waiting to catch a shot of the Beckhams. Instead, he got the "Two Coreys" star giving a shout-out to Corey #2, Mr. Feldman, and ... honestly we're not sure what else he says.
Post your best guesses below.
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George Clooney -- The Consummate Gentleman
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George Clooney was in high spirits last night, taking time to shoot the breeze with a TMZ camera. Confessions of a courteous mind!
Our photog ran into Mr. Ocean outside of New York's Nobu, where the affable actor gave a homeless man some dough and a warm pat on the shoulder. Nice touch! Cordial George was even watchful of our backwards-walking photog, saying he would feel like "a rat" if anyone got hurt filming him. Thanks, Batman!
Then he took our camera in his own hands, discussing the difference between brands and some techniques for getting the right shot! When the lesson was over, Georgie gave the equipment back and took off. Good night, and good luck!
(And yes, that is Rande Gerber, Cindy Crawford's hottie hubby, with him. Gorgeous guys travel in packs!)
The Mister Steps Aside for Bette
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Looks like Bette Midler gave huffy hubby Martin von Haselberg a little lesson in "Who's the star in this marriage?"
Just a couple days after Marty snapped at a handler who didn't recognize him as Mr. Bette Midler, von Haselberg kept his distance (hiding behind a large bodyguard) as Midler alighted for a show at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.
Despite photog pleas for him to get in the shot, von Haselberg -- a performance artist in the brilliant "The Kipper Kids" -- let the divine one do her thing without popping into the shot. Imagine the scenes from that marriage!