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Selena Gomez's dog nearly died after ingesting a belly full of rocks -- but luckily for the pooch ... what goes in, must come out. Ouch!

Model/volleyball hottie Morgan Beck exposed a "smuggy buggy" in the TMZ newsroom -- and if you're wondering what that is .. our new lawyer can explain. She has an Ivy league degree, after all.

LeBron James was accused of bashing Jewish players' hoops skills in earshot of a kosher Subway employee -- which begs the question ... what's on the menu at kosher Subways?

Sylvester Stallone has successfully crafted an unforgettable pen -- unfortunately, it's only unforgettable for its uniquely, umm ... ugly looks. Oh, and it costs $5,000!

Lindsay Lohan can do her community service and her holiday shopping down at the coroner's office ... which has it's own gift shop!! Let's just hope inventory doesn't get crossed up over there.

Armenian "System of a Down" singer Serj Tankian is connected to someone in the TMZ newsroom -- so what are the odds that connection involves an Armenian employee?

Special thanks to 'AI' finalist Casey Abrams -- whose A.D.D. led Harv and the newsroom into a chat about a rugby player who claims a stroke turned him gay. Naturally.

Rebecca Romijn's killer bikini body proves even the God-gifted, perfectly sculpted John Stamos' life can take a wrong turn every now and then. We feel your pain, John.

"Whitney" star Chris D'Elia dove headfirst into a important issue -- a controversial photo of a surfer straddling an endangered sea turtle. And that was just the beginning of turtle sex 101.

Now that celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain's nude vacation pics have surfaced -- all we need is someone to be the voice of AB's family jewels. Take it away, Harv!

Justin Bieber doesn't need a Maury Povich DNA test to prove he's not the father of his accuser's kid -- because Ram-Bieb and his legion of fans have switched to ... attack mode.

Herman Cain's sexual harassment fiasco won't hurt him, and might even help! Well, that's the theory two -- and ONLY two -- people in the TMZ newsroom are selling.

Vinny Guadagnino from "Jersey Shore" was actually invited to speak at Columbia University -- but quickly found out ... even the Ivy League has hecklers. They're just smarter about it.

The Alabama/LSU football showdown isn't until this weekend -- but thanks to the raging smack talk that's already erupted between both sides, we learned Tide fans are called "Gumps" ... and Tigers fans don't have class (allegedly).

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