"The best way to describe Joe DiMaggio is ... he was a penis with a man hanging from it."
That's Pete Rose talking about his encounter with a real-life one-eyed monster ... Joltin' Joe's tremendous dong.
Rose was on 'Mike's On' with Mike Francesa when he was asked about his friendship with the Yankees legend ... and that's when Rose talked about the time he saw Joe's shlong.
Basically, Pete says he and Joe went to Vietnam to visit U.S. military personnel back in the day and they were based in a part of the jungle where there was no real plumbing.
So, when Joe decided he needed a rinse, he needed Pete to load up a fresh bucket of water into a makeshift mobile shower to help Joe get the job done.
That's when Pete says he saw it ... a wiener so big, he still remembers it to this day.
In fact, Pete says Joe's baby-maker was so massive, the guy needed THREE shower shoes -- 2 for his feet and one to keep his man junk from touching the floor.
So, cheers to you Joe DiMaggio ... not just for that 56-game hitting streak, but for being able to play center field with a full anaconda in your pants.