Erika Kirk Reveals Devastating Moments After Charlie's Death As Anniversary Looms

Erika Kirk is opening up about the devastating hours after her husband, Charlie Kirk, was shot and killed ... sharing heartbreaking details as the one-year anniversary of his death approaches.

In a New York Times opinion essay published Monday, Erika says the day after Charlie's death felt like a "fever dream" as she returned home to Phoenix from Utah. When she arrived, their children ran into her arms, unaware of where she'd been or what had happened.

Inside the house, the reality began to sink in. She says she sat on the couch where Charlie had watched the Cubs with their kids just two nights earlier and felt a wave of grief hit her.

Erika says she had earlier told Usha Vance, wife of Vice President JD Vance, that she didn't know how she was going to get through it. Usha held her hand and told her to think of grief like being on an airplane with screaming kids -- just make it through the next 15 minutes, and those words stuck with Erika.

She eventually went into the bathroom and saw Charlie's toothbrush and towel exactly where he'd left them. Then she stood in their bedroom, staring at his pillow and wondering how long his scent would remain in the sheets.

She couldn't stay there ... so she turned off the light and climbed into bed with their 3-year-old daughter. For months, Erika says she avoided the bedroom and confronted her grief gradually as birthdays, holidays, their anniversary, and other family milestones passed without Charlie.

At their daughter's fourth birthday, Erika says she broke down while singing "Happy Birthday" ... wishing Charlie could have seen his little girl blow out her candles.

Now, nearly a year later, Erika says the grief still comes in waves ... but she no longer fears being swallowed by them. Instead, she says she has learned she can grieve Charlie while still laughing with their children and experiencing joy.

Her advice to others facing loss is simple ... "Just get through the next 15 minutes."