Becks & Posh

Pretty boy soccer star David Beckham isn't even playing for the L.A. Galaxy yet, but insiders are already saying that team members are sick of the circus-like atmosphere surrounding his arrival.

Between the rolled out red carpet and valet at the new VIP entrance at Home Depot Center, and the "posh" boxes that celebs like TomKat and JLo are expected to sit in -- the Galaxy has gone completely Hollywood.

BTW, if you're trying to get an uncensored peak at Beckham's family jewels, don't count on it. Rumor is Becks has a private changing area to keep cell phone snappers and prying eyes away, although Galaxy reps refused comment, saying only that "it's a private matter."

Below from left: (Posh, Sporty, Ginger, Baby, Scary)

Above from left: (Sporty, Ginger, Posh, Scary, Baby)

The Girls will play 11 shows in December and January, beginning in Los Angeles on Dec. 7, anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Zigazig ha!

Victoria Beckham celebrated the launch of her dVb denim line by holding up a huge pair of jeans at SAKS in NY on Thursday ... and by huge we mean Size 2!

But fear not, all you non-malnourished fashionistas, even Suri Cruise's jeans look big next to Bony Beckham!

The pair met at Cafe Marco in West Hollywood to discuss ... um, what could they possibly be talking about? Perhaps Posh politely asked Perez to stop drawing things on her face.

The former "Friends" star is the current Smart Water spokesperson, with her giant mug featured on billboards. Before driving off in his Range Rover, Sculfor quenched his thirst with a refreshing bottle of the stuff.

Way to work the product placement!

Dressed like a total poshtitute in what appears to be a botched tuxedo/racing ensemble, Victoria Beckham somehow took home the Woman of the Year crown at the Glamour Magazine awards last night. Say whaaaat?!

Though Mrs. Beckham was touted by the mag's editor as "a role model" and "indicative of the modern woman," Beckham's only recent accomplishments appear to be constantly looking hungry and pissed-off, and shtupping one of the sexiest men in the world. Role model indeed ... for automatons and streetwalkers!

Other "glamorous" women honored at the event included Sienna Miller -- who said she had too much wine to make a speech -- and the musical group Girls Aloud (think Pussycat Dolls with British accents). What, Jordan wasn't available? The ceremony was somewhat redeemed by also giving awards to Angelina Jolie (yes, Posh beat Angie for the highest honors), Beyoncé and Helen Mirren -- though none of them showed up to receive the, er, honor.

After presenting at the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday, Victoria Beckham dined at Nobu -- well, she was there -- no word on whether she actually ate anything -- in an outfit more appropriate for Hollywood Blvd. than Malibu! Need a date?

Apparently, Posh enjoys selling as much as buying!

Posh Spice won't be spicing up the reality TV universe anytime soon. Victoria Beckham has backed out of deal to star in a reality TV show for NBC about her move stateside with hubby David and kids.

The doll-like diva told Brit rag "The Mirror" that family comes before fame. According to a "Mirror" source, "the TV series was a great launchpad for her career ... but she felt she was being pushed into a corner and David was obviously always going to take priority."

The swanky British power couple and the foul-mouthed reality TV chef are planning to open a restaurant in Los Angeles.

Oh, yes, Posh is a woman who looks like she enjoys a hearty meal! Once a year! Ramsay tells News of the World, "We've been friends for a while and have spoken about it. There's always been something in the pipeline." Food, glorious food!

Posh, who's meat-free (obviously), has reportedly insisted that the menu offer a range of vegetarian options. PETA-licious! Mrs. Beckham wouldn't dare chow down on plates of greasy fish and chips! The horror!

With her "reality" show camera crews in tow, Victoria got pulled over while driving her black SUV in L.A. on Tuesday. What a coinky-dink! The first time we see Vicky B behind the wheel, she gets pulled over!

Sporting a ridiculously tight bondage skirt, Posh barely maneuvers out of her vehicle -- and into the paparazzi's full view -- to hand over paperwork to a police officer. Aren't you supposed to stay inside your vehicle?! Well, make sure you get her good side!

Afterwards, Victoria made her mic'd way to a local DMV office for more photo ops. Hopefully, Posh realized DMV does not stand for Dior, Manolo and Versace!

Paps awaited the former Spice Girl's arrival as her black SUV pulled up on trendy West Third Street in Los Angeles. Security was already in place on the street, when the vehicle's door opened revealing an amazingly lifelike, sunglasses-wearing, blonde bobbed ... mannequin! For once in her life, Posh was all dolled up with no place to go!

Ironically, fake plastic doll Posh actually weighed more than fake, plastic human Posh! Blah!

Posh, 33, blah blah Kitson -- blah blah purple dress blah, Spice blah blah photogs blah blah blah blah!

Paparazzi crush blah blah Robertson Blvd., blah blah emaciated blah blah blonde bob blah blah blah. Blah!

TMZ spotted Posh at the Arclight movie theatre, where it was obvious that she's learned some of her black clothes become see-thru under camera lights (it only took her countless revealing trips through airport terminals and appearances on soft core celebrity websites ... not that we're looking). Beckham kept her arms to her chest and continually pulled her sweater closer as she walked, almost timidly, to the movie theater -- a far cry from the last time we caught her stateside. Couldn't she just rock a thicker bra?

So, does this mark the dawning of a more conservative Posh? Let's hope not!

With Posh, Baby, Ginger and even new single mom Scary Spice in attendance at Cipriani's in London, soccer stud David had to sub for the lone no-show -- Sporty Mel C.

While there's no official word on why Sporty missed out on the fun, she must have been busy doing, er, working with, um, er ... Sporty wasn't there.

It's a 13,000-plus-sq.-ft. Italianate villa built just this year, with six bedrooms (barely enough to hold the Beck-brood), and nine bathrooms (conveniently enough as David flushes what remains of his soccer cred away) in an appropriately posh part of the 90210. The long narrow entrance hall looks like something out of the opening credits of "Get Smart," just for good measure.

TMZ spotted the former Spice Girl arriving at LAX Saturday morning -- with a welcoming crew of camera wielding paparazzi waiting for her outside the gate. Posh is in L.A. to finalize the deal on her new house, which pap agencies have already began patrolling from the air with helicopters.

Beckham's new neighbor, Jay Leno, drove by the sprawling home in his classic gold hot rod as our cameras were waiting for Posh to exit. Before speeding off into town, "The Tonight Show" host sent a welcoming message to the locals through our cameras.