Ashley Olsen Gets the Runs

Ashley Olsen's New Year's resolution must be to start exercising ... and dressing more like her ragamuffin sister, Mary-Kate.

Wearing the latest hipster aerobic ensemble of industrial strength leggings, vintage grunge-era flannel and 2005 oversized shades, Ash pounded the pavement -- sans venti coffee drink -- in L.A. on Monday.

No word on what her goal weight is.

Mary-Kate Plus 8 ... Pounds of Accessories

Sportin' a Nick Nolte mug shot weave, '70s nana shades, rosaries leftover from Madonna's 1985 Virgin tour, a scarf made out of the throw from "Roseanne's" couch, a handbag created by an arts and crafts class at day camp and her signature ginormous coffee drink, Mary-Kate Olsen emerged mostly upright in NYC on Monday.

If you put on that many heinous accouterments, you'd need 20 ounces of caffeine to lift your feeble bones too.

Ashley Olsen's Public Display of Emotion

Defying the Olsen Twin Vacant Stare Code of Stoic Conduct, Ashley Olsen actually showed some human-like behavior and hugged boyfriend Justin Bartha after arriving to LAX last night.

No doubt Mary-Kate will have no feeling either way about this.

Nick Nolte, Is That You?

Looking like the illegitimate love child of Nick Nolte's mugshot and Ozzy Osbourne, Mary-Kate Olsen threw on a medical smock and went for an unsupervised ride through the East Village this weekend.

Mary-Kate Olsen Human Torch

She only weighs 48 pounds, so it wouldn't take much for the highly flammable Mary-Kate Olsen to go up in smoke. Hence a bad idea to pump gas with a cell phone in hand.

Mary-Kate Gets Some Ozzy Love

Looking like the illegitimate love child of Ozzy Osbourne and Courtney Love, a blood-less Mary-Kate Olsen made her way to an opera gala in NYC on Sunday.

Rumors that the 22-year-old wonder twin later bit the head off of a bat and blogged incoherently are not true.

Posh and Mary-Kate's Curtain Rod Chic

After watching that famous Carol Burnett "Gone with the Wind" skit one too many times, both Victoria Beckham and Mary-Kate Olsen left their houses this weekend sporting some serious drapery hardware.

But unlike Burnett, we're laughing at them ... not with them.

Mary-Kate: Fur-ocious!

Carrying her trademark 2005 oversized nana shades and a coffee cup, Mary-Kate Olsen maneuvered a NYC sidewalk wearing her finest Chewbacca pelt on Thursday.

MKO is in the running for the title of PETA's Worst-Dressed Celeb of 2009. With her denim cutoffs and Lindsay leggings, she should have this contest in the (leather) bag!

Mary-Kate: Miami Yikes!

With a tropical Zorro hat, beachy blue velvet Stevie Nicks blazer, spring shade of black useless scarf, raggedy bell bottoms and Summer of Love platform wedges, Mary-Kate Olsen endured a bitter cold 75 degree winter day in Miami Beach on Wednesday.

No word if she went for a swim in a lambswool bikini or thermal one-piece.

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Mary-Kate's Food Curse

There's been speculation Mary-Kate Olsen has had issues with food. If true, today's car accident won't help much. The driver of the car in which M-K was riding backed into an an El Pollo Loco delivery vehicle in West Hollywood.

Poor Mary-Kate wasn't even there to eat ... she was furniture shopping.

Hopefully she won't have a Pavlovian response to food and bad things happening.

Mary-Kate Knocks One Back

Mary-Kate Olsen tripled her daily caloric intake by enjoying a beer last night in NYC.

That will probably go straight to her ... oh, who are we kidding?

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Mary-Kate Smells Like Teen Spirit

Sporting a vintage flannel shirt dress thing from Kurt Cobain's Spring 1992 Collection, Mary-Kate Olsen -- like all good L.A. area hipsters -- ventured out in public to catch the musical stylings of Radiohead at the Hollywood Bowl on Monday.

No word if the Karma Police showed up, but the fashion police sure did.

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Sam + LiLo = Mary-Kate

The bastard love child of Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan has surfaced.

Mary-Kate Olsen was snapped leaving her NYC apartment on Thursday wearing Sam's fedora, hoodie and dress shoes mixed with Lindsay's hair, dress and bag.

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Olsen Twins Separated After Birth

Usually we could forgive our camera guy for calling Ashley by her sister's name -- like he did last night. But these days we actually can tell them apart.

Mary-Kate has been a part of all that Heath Ledger drama. Plus, she's involved in a $30k dispute with her former landlord. Ashley, on the other hand....nothin'.

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Name That Olsen Twin/Madden Brother

Wearing matching Sam Ronson hats, one of the Olsen Twins hung out with either Nicole Richie or Paris Hilton's Madden brother boyfriend in NYC on Tuesday night.

If you were Paris or Nicole, would you want Benji or Joel hanging out with Mary-Kate or Ashley?

Us neither.

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Mary-Kate's Lawyer: She Knows Nothing

After reports surfaced the Feds have repeatedly tried and failed to get Mary-Kate Olsen to spill what she knows about how Heath Ledger got the drug cocktail that eventually killed him, the tiny twin's attorney Michael Miller has issued the following statement:

"Despite tabloid speculation, Mary-Kate Olsen had nothing whatsoever to do with the drugs found in Heath Ledger's home or his body, and she does not know where he obtained them. Regarding the government's investigation, at Ms. Olsen's request, we have provided the government with relevant information including facts in the chronology of events surrounding Mr. Ledger's death and the fact that Ms. Olsen does not know the source of the drugs Mr. Ledger consumed. "

Cops say the masseuse who found Ledger's body last January spent nine minutes making three separate calls to Olsen before calling 911, then called her again after paramedics arrived. After getting the calls, cops say MK sent her bodyguard to go check on the situation .

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