UFC hottie Arianny Celeste's bikini executed a breathtaking submission hold earlier today at a pool in Miami -- squeezing her boobs so tight ... the lovely ladies nearly came loose.

She's got all the right moves.

60 something action stars Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone both needed surgery after filming "Expendables 2" -- which gave us a great idea for their next blockbuster. Roll it!!

Snooki and Jwoww will be on some seriously thin ice when they begin shooting their new reality show in Jersey City ... because the cops will be assigned to watch their asses AT ALL TIMES.

TMZ has learned ... officials in Jersey City  refused to a grant a permit to shoot the show UNLESS they agreed to some seriously strict rules.

1) The show must allow at least four Jersey City PD officers to be stationed at Jwoww and Snooki's home at all times.

2) The cops will stay with the cast and crew when they leave the home. Cops have agreed to keep an appropriate distance from the operation, so they don't get in the way of production.

3) If MORE cops are called in to handle an incident due to events related to the show, producers MUST reimburse Jersey City for all related costs.

Officials have also made it clear ... cops are taking the situation very seriously and will take action ... even on the cast ... if any state or city laws are broken.

Ultimately, producers agreed ... and got the permit. Production is scheduled to begin later this month.

We didn't think it was possible -- but Ne-Yo's baby mama just broke the African-child-adopting records set by Madonna AND Angelina Jolie ... combined ... agreeing to adopt 48 children in Swaziland.

Full disclosure -- Monyetta Shaw's not actually taking 48 children back to the United States with her ... but she did agree to pay for their living costs for an entire year ... a nearly $20,000 commitment.

Sources tell TMZ, "Football Wives" star Chanita Foster (below) -- who founded a charity called Beyond the Game to provide children in Swaziland with food, clothes, and education -- got in touch with Monyetta about sponsoring a child or two ... and Monyetta agreed.


But we're told, once Monyetta saw the 48 young faces in the charity's brochure -- she fell in love ... and insisted on adopting all of them.

Each kid costs roughly $30 a month -- and Monyetta adopted 48 for an entire year ... which means she's in for $17,280. Not bad.

Of course, to provide similar care in the U.S. would run roughly the same ... PER CHILD

Halle Berry does not want to leave the U.S. for France with daughter Nahla because the food is so good over there ... she wants out of this country because she fears for her life and the life of her child.

TMZ broke the story ... Halle is asking a judge for permission to move to France with Nahla ... something Gabriel Aubry is trying to block.

We've learned there have been and are serious threats to Halle's life and she feels the move is a life or death situation.

Law enforcement sources tell us ... Robert Hoskins, a mentally unstable man, escaped from a mental institution last week.

We've learned he has made threats against Halle's life -- specifically to "slit her throat."

Hoskins is no stranger to the law -- he has threatened to slit Madonna's throat in the past and was actually shot by her bodyguard in 1995 after he trespassed onto Madge's property.

And as we first reported, another stalker who recently trespassed onto Halle's property multiple times has just been released from jail.

Friends of Halle tell us ... she is particularly concerned because Starmaps and some Hollywood bus tours literally take tourists to her doorstep.

And Halle's friends say ... the actress is very concerned that baby daddy Gabriel Aubry is parading Nahla in front of paparazzi almost daily and possibly putting her in harm's way.

Bottom line -- Halle's M.O. for wanting to move is rooted in security ... not revenge.

Halle Berry was not engaged to Olivier Martinez when numerous outlets reported she was back in December -- but we found out ... SHE IS NOW!!!

You'll recall, after Halle sported a big ol' ring that Olivier Martinez gave her everyone jumped to false conclusions -- but it was NOT an engagement ring.

But we've learned Halle did become engaged to Olivier sometime after the first of the year.

The engagement is significant because Halle is asking a judge to allow her to move to France with Olivier and 3-year-old Nahla.

TMZ broke the story, Halle wants to make the move and baby daddy Gabriel Aubry vehemently objects.

In California and most states, a judge would look at the stability of the parent's relationship and a marital relationship is far more impressive than boyfriend and girlfriend.

No word on when the two will marry, but we're told a marriage will DEFINITELY take place.

Say goodbye to Chad Ochocinco ... the Patriots star is telling friends, he plans to change his last name BACK to Johnson in time for his wedding this summer -- because he doesn't want his wife to have a made-up last name.

Ocho's wedding to his "Basketball Wives" fiancee Evelyn Lozada is set for July in Florida -- and sources tell TMZ, the wide receiver plans to legally change his last name back to the one he was born with before he ties the knot.

Despite hedging last month, we're told Evelyn doesn't care what name she ends up with -- Johnson or Ochocinco -- the choice is entirely up to Chad ... but it appears he's already made up his mind.

Too bad ... we literally JUST bought his Pats jersey.

Tiffani Thiessen dodged a serious bullet ... 'cause the former "Saved By the Bell" goddess tells us she never brought herself to watch one single episode of the abomination that was "The New Class."

If only the rest of us had that kind of will power ...

Tiffani -- who was out in NY yesterday -- also told us she was flattered when Justin Bieber rocked a Kelly Kapowski shirt to an award show in Canada last year ... saying, "I highly doubt he's ever seen the show ... but I thought it was super cute."

As for "The New Class" ... seriously, that show was terrible.

Suge Knight was arrested in Las Vegas yesterday after a traffic stop gone bad, TMZ has learned ... and to make things worse, cops say he was carrying weed on him at the time.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... the former Death Row rap mogul was pulled over at 5:34 PM Wednesday for making an unsafe lane change in his sick black Bentley.

But when cops ran Suge's name in the system ... they noticed multiple warrants out for his arrest, stemming from minor traffic violations.

After a quick search, cops say they found a small amount of marijuana in Suge's possession.

Knight was eventually hauled to a nearby jail for processing. He was released a short time later.

And things could get WORSE for Knight ... as TMZ previously reported, Suge is currently on 3 years unsupervised probation for driving on a suspended license.

Although "Dexter" co-stars Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter finalized their divorce in December, the former couple couldn't be any closer as they walked arm-in-arm and snuggled in Venice Beach on Wednesday.

So much for irreconcilable differences.

Halle Berry is asking the judge in her custody war for permission to move to France with Nahla -- and baby daddy Gabriel Aubry is saying ... over my dead body.

TMZ has learned Halle filed papers with the court requesting the move and the hearing is pending. Sources tell us Gabriel is livid because he believes the move is punitive and designed to strip him of any contact with his daughter.

And Gabriel is particularly upset because Halle's longtime boyfriend Olivier Martinez will be living with Halle and Nahla if the move is approved ... informed sources tell TMZ.

Halle could have an argument that it's safer for Nahla to be in Europe ... especially because her latest stalker -- who broke onto her property multiple times -- has recently been released from jail.